Local Beach Water Tests Positive for Viagra
A recent tidepooling study revealed today that local beach water has tested positive for Viagra.
“How did we know? Look, we just knew,” said NOAA...
Adorable Waterspout Tornado Tries to Scare Seattleites Filing Taxes Under Fascism
To the unexpected delight of people across the Seattle area, Wednesday afternoon the most precious waterspout tornado adorably tried to scare them while they...
Supreme Court Votes 6-3 to Officially Change Market Name to Pike’s Place
People all over Seattle today were horrified to discover that, hidden amongst last week’s unpopular Supreme Court decisions, was a 6-3 vote that has...
Laurelhurst Generously Agrees to Let Sick Children Live
After two weeks of deliberation, today the esteemed Laurelhurst Community Council generously agreed to let sick and severely injured airlifted children live instead of...
Seattle Concludes Month of Pretending It Ever Wanted to Take Train to Bellevue
A month after Sound Transit finally opened its much-anticipated Crosslake Connection light rail stations, this week Seattle residents formally concluded their impressive, four-week run...
Officials Gather to Celebrate First Crosslake Light Rail Commuter to Flip Off Rush Hour Traffic
This morning local officials gathered aboard the 2 Line to celebrate the historic first crosslake light rail commuter to flip off I-90 Bridge rush...
Mercer Island Leaves Home Alone-Style Traps All Over New Light Rail Station
Before its Crosslake Connection light rail station between Seattle and the Eastside officially opened to the public Saturday morning, Mercer Island residents reportedly spent...
Entire City of Vancouver, WA Gladly Self-Deports to Vancouver, BC
After years of everyone being confused about why it was in the United States culminated in several ICE agents threatening them if they dared...
Mercer Island’s Second Cougar Sighting This Week Alarms Residents
The second sighting this week of a cougar prowling this usually safe, residential enclave has Mercer Island families clutching their children and dolla, dolla...
Fife Unveils New Slogan: ‘Last Chance To Pee Before Tacoma Dome Traffic’
Fife unveiled their brand-new tourism campaign today after a savvy young city official stumbled upon a revolutionary new slogan, Fife: Last Chance To Pee...
