Bellevue Homeowners Say Light Rail Noise on I-90 Ruining Area’s Peaceful Freeway Ambience
A group of Bellevue homeowners are telling Sound Transit that the low hum of the new light rail line across Lake Washington has completely...
Crazy Socialist Mayor of Seattle Says Cars Not Allowed to Drive on ‘Trains-Only’ Train Tracks
As if Seattle’s crazed socialist mayor hadn’t oppressed the city’s car drivers enough already with new bus-only lanes for her Route 8 stretch limo,...
Blue Origin Goes Rogue, Blows Up Another Billionaire’s Launchpad
For the second night in a row, the team behind Bezos-founded space rocket company Blue Origin has gone rogue by following up their explosion...
Orcas Getting a Little Sick and Tired of Being Asked to Solve All Your Billionaire Problems
After yet another week of hearing humans ask them to sink billionaire yachts for them, today local orca pods announced they’re getting a little...
Alki Beachgoers Stunned as Low Tide Reveals Studio Apartment with Rent Under $800
During the lowest tide of the year this week, Alki beachgoers in were treated to the rare discovery of a studio apartment renting for...
Millionaires Tax Payers Assured They Only Need to Cut Back on Lattes to Afford Fifth Home
Future Millionaires Tax payers panicked about how they’re ever going to afford their fifth home if they have to one day pay a 9%...
Seattle Mayor Apologizes to Starbucks, Thought It Knew Everyone Here Hated Them Already
After weeks of Starbucks leadership telling every major newspaper in the country how mean Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson’s been to them by publicly not...
Bainbridge Island Adds ‘Everyone Is Welcome Here’ Sign to 90-Foot Wall Keeping Poors Out
In a show of how much better they are than those awful people in Seattle’s Laurelhurst neighborhood, today Bainbridge Island added an “Everyone Is...
Despite Striking Resemblance, Green Lake Confirms No Relation to D.C. Reflecting Pool
After people all over the city couldn’t resist asking once noticing their remarkable resemblance, today Seattle’s Green Lake confirmed there is no relation between...
Fuck! Starbucks Agrees to All Union Demands and Now We Have to Drink Their Coffee Again
In supposedly fortunate news after years of union-busting, Starbucks suddenly made a 180 and agreed to all of Starbucks Workers United’s union demands, forcing...
