Local Beach Water Tests Positive for Viagra
A recent tidepooling study revealed today that local beach water has tested positive for Viagra.
“How did we know? Look, we just knew,” said NOAA...
Adorable Waterspout Tornado Tries to Scare Seattleites Filing Taxes Under Fascism
To the unexpected delight of people across the Seattle area, Wednesday afternoon the most precious waterspout tornado adorably tried to scare them while they...
Officials Gather to Celebrate First Crosslake Light Rail Commuter to Flip Off Rush Hour Traffic
This morning local officials gathered aboard the 2 Line to celebrate the historic first crosslake light rail commuter to flip off I-90 Bridge rush...
Mercer Island Leaves Home Alone-Style Traps All Over New Light Rail Station
Before its Crosslake Connection light rail station between Seattle and the Eastside officially opened to the public Saturday morning, Mercer Island residents reportedly spent...
Entire City of Vancouver, WA Gladly Self-Deports to Vancouver, BC
After years of everyone being confused about why it was in the United States culminated in several ICE agents threatening them if they dared...
Mercer Island’s Second Cougar Sighting This Week Alarms Residents
The second sighting this week of a cougar prowling this usually safe, residential enclave has Mercer Island families clutching their children and dolla, dolla...
Fife Unveils New Slogan: ‘Last Chance To Pee Before Tacoma Dome Traffic’
Fife unveiled their brand-new tourism campaign today after a savvy young city official stumbled upon a revolutionary new slogan, Fife: Last Chance To Pee...
Doctor Called After University Bridge Stuck in Upright Position for Over 4 Hours
After getting stuck painfully throbbing up in the air for four straight hours today, the Seattle Department of Transportation admitted they had to call...
Apocalyptic Earthquake Headed for Seattle Stuck In Everett Traffic
Crisis was averted today as an apocalyptic, city shattering earthquake heading towards Seattle was halted in its tracks by an impenetrable Everett traffic-jam.
“We really...
New Study Shows Bellevue Exists Outside of Work Hours
A shocking new study conducted by a team of Seattleites who crossed the treacherous waters of Lake Washington by light rail over the weekend...
