Heartbreaking: Boeing Layoffs Hit Whistleblower Assassin Department
After a disastrous financial quarter that saw a $355 million loss, today Boeing announced that its latest round of cost-saving layoffs would affect hundreds in its whistleblower assassin department.
“When I got my pink slip...
Biden Vows That Things in Gaza Would Be Different If He Was President
President Joe Biden finally took a tough stance on the continuing atrocities being committed in Gaza today, vowing that things would be very different if he was President of the United States.
“I don’t know...
Amazon Ends ‘Just Walk Out’ Shopping, Announces ‘Just Walk Out’ Layoffs
After Amazon announced last week that they are ending use of its “Just Walk Out” checkout-free shopping at its grocery stores, today the retail behemoth announced they were pivoting to use the technology to...
Boeing Kindly Offers to Fly All Whistleblowers to Their Court Dates on 737 MAX
In a show of cooperation with federal investigations and lawsuits questioning the safety of its plane assembly line practices and policies, today Boeing announced it would courteously offer to escort all whistleblowers to their...
Uncommitted Delegates Announce They Want to Settle Down, Just Haven’t Met Right Candidate Yet
After being slandered for a week in the media for being nothing but a bunch of promiscuous political players who can’t commit to anyone, tonight the Uncommitted Delegates announced they actually really want to...
Boeing Stock Rebounds After Front Half of 737 MAX Lands Safely
After countless potentially deadly mechanical issues tanked the once stellar safety reputation of the nation’s only commercial airplane manufacturer, this morning Boeing stocks finally rebounded for the first time in months after the entire...
CDC Replaces At-Home Testing with Sneezing into Someone’s Face, Seeing If They Get Sick
After months of asking for a more updated and reliable way of testing whether they’re infected with the latest variant of Covid, this morning the CDC announced it was officially replacing at-home testing kits...
Boeing ‘Protecting Its Peace’ by Taking Little Break from Social Media
After the FAA posted a scathing report online today about Boeing’s corporate culture and its disastrous effect on the safety of its planes, the lambasted local plane manufacturer announced that it would be taking...
I Have a Black Friend and 5 Other Reasons What’s Happening in Palestine Isn’t Genocide
A lot of people have been saying what’s happening in Palestine, particularly Gaza, is undoubtedly a genocide. But there’s no way that’s possible, actually, because I have a black friend. Here are five other...
Local Ceasefire Advocates’ Empathy for Dying Children Waning as Russia, China Delay Payment for Supporting Palestine
With rent due in just a few days, local ceasefire advocates say their empathy is running thin for thousands of children dying in the most gruesome and heartbreaking ways imaginable right before their eyes...
