US and Iran Agree to Alternating Weekly Schedule of War/Ceasefire
After weeks of battling each other so hard it looked like they might destroy themselves just for the satisfaction of irreparably ruining the other,...
Rural Armed Militia Converts Compound to Ballroom
Inspired by President Donald Trump’s genius tactic to increase his safety against all sworn enemies, today a rural armed militia on the border of...
Blue Origin Lunar Lander Delivered to Wrong Moon
After a promised delivery to its intended address fell through this morning, today Blue Origin confirmed its lunar lander was in fact delivered to...
Artemis II Astronauts Say Microsoft Teams Not Working Either
After experiencing a Microsoft Outlook outage shortly after entering orbit this week, today Artemis II astronauts reported that Teams was also not working either...
Drone Using AI to Target Nation’s Greatest Security Threat Blows Up White House
In a completely tragic accident, today a drone using AI to target and take down the nation’s greatest security threat has mistakenly blown up...
Trump Upstages Masters with Perfect Golf Stroke
Before Rory McIlroy could even enjoy his historic Masters championship win for 24 hours, today President Donald Trump upstaged the golf tournament winner’s victory...
ICE Agents Just Making Sure They’re the Only Terrorists at Airport
Today ICE began filling in for unpaid TSA workers at airports across the country to make sure that ICE agents were the only terrorists...
Joe Kent Resigns in Protest of Starting Wars Against Brown People Abroad Instead of at Home
Today former Washington Congressional candidate Joe Kent stepped down from his Trump-appointed counter-terrorism director position in opposition to the president’s war on brown people...
Environmental Hero Makes Fossil Fuels Too Expensive for Anyone to Keep Using
Accomplishing what no other green energy advocate has before, this month environmental hero President Donald Trump successfully created so much indefinite economic turmoil in...
ICE Agents Still in Hospital After Being Shot Repeatedly by iPhones
Several ICE agents are still in the hospital today after being shot repeatedly by iPhones over the weekend.
“These attempted assassins shot our agents straight...
