After days of the nation regretting not taking former U.S. Senate candidate Graham Platner’s Nazi tattoo seriously enough, today the Democratic National Committee and AIPAC assured Washington U.S. Senator Maria Cantwell that her “Love My Bibi” tramp stamp should still be okay.
“I think as long as you’re only literally enabling and funding the ra** of brown Muslim men, women and children on the other side of the world and not committing the act yourself, you’re good,” said Democratic strategist James Carville. “Does the tattoo represent supporting a jeno cide that more and more people on the Left and Right are against and see exactly as that? Sure. Are the candidates who agree with them winning a lot of elections these days? Sure. But your term doesn’t end til 2031, so you’ve got plenty of time to pretend you didn’t know what that tramp stamp meant later.”
The news came as a relief to Sen. Cantwell before getting into a two-piece at Lake Chelan with her love for Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu on full display.
“Okay, great—I was afraid for a second more people might think anyone with a record of supporting and funding atrocites against other humans including murder and ra**—especially on a massive scale—is just as unfit to hold office, but everyone’s just gonna kinda keep accepting that as status quo mostly keep focusing on him and no one else? Awesome,” said Sen. Cantwell. “Because I really need some time to relax after visiting that sad Chelan Hills community that completely burned down—wish I could do more to help them all rebuild, but you know how tight the federal budget gets after we blow so much of it on blowing up every school, hospital and home in Palestine.”
At press time, DNC and AIPAC strategists reminded Sen. Cantwell that taking photos smiling with Bibi, one of the most hated sociopaths in the world, should also still be fine for now.
