SPD Wondering What’s Taking Mayor Katie Wilson So Long to Find Second Shooting Suspect
Two days after a tragic shooting that killed three people at Seattle Center, Seattle Police Department officials say confusion and questions continue to swirl...
Family That Left Food Out on Porch for St. Jimothy Wakes Up to Yard Full of Presents
After leaving pet food out on the porch overnight in hopes St. Jimothy soon would be there, one Ballard family woke up this morning...
Adorable New Video Shows Moment Jimothy Escaped Henry Mural as a Baby
A newly discovered video shows absolutely precious footage of the moment viral internet sensation Jimothy the raccoon lept off a Henry mural into real...
Sen. Cantwell Assured Her ‘Love My Bibi’ Tramp Stamp Still Okay
After days of the nation regretting not taking former U.S. Senate candidate Graham Platner’s Nazi tattoo seriously enough, today the Democratic National Committee and...
World Cup Tourist Blissfully Unaware Every Seattle Limebike Seat Now Covered in Fremont Taintjuice
One World Cup tourist blissfully unaware every Limebike seat he rode on today was covered in a naked Fremont Solstice Parade reveler’s taintjuice over...
Paleontologists Believe Early Ford Raptor Had Feathers
After years of debate, Washington State University paleontologists believe a fossil just discovered at The Gorge finally proves that the early Ford Raptor did...
Seattleites Frantically Search for Plausible Excuse to Cancel Plans with World Cup
Although initially looking forward to it when they put it on their calendars four years ago, today Seattle residents realizing the first World Cup...
ICE to Help Protect World Cup Host Cities from Making Any Money from International Tourists
U.S. World Cup host cities including Seattle, LA, Boston, New York City and Atlanta were assured today that ICE is already on-hand to protect...
Socialist Mayor Reigns of Terror Continue with Yet Another Sports Championship Victory
Just four months after Mayor Katie Wilson kicked off her Socialist reign of terror over Seattle with a Seahawks Super Bowl win, today Mayor...
Study Finds Siren-Related Deaths Among Sailors Way Down
In more proof that crime rates aren’t as high as people make them seem sometimes, today a study confirmed that Siren-related deaths among sailors...
