Geese Can’t Believe How Much Crap Humans Leave in Grass
A flock of Canada geese looking to relax and picnic on a local park lawn today said they couldn’t believe how much crap humans...
Seattle Resident Applies Rain-X Directly to Skin to Avoid Needing Umbrella
Tired of needing an umbrella everyone makes fun of him for using to stay dry during real downpours, today one clever Seattle man applied...
Sound Transit Projects Light Rail System Completion at End of Cenozoic Era
To the relief of many Seattle metro area residents today, Sound Transit bumped up the completion date of all pending light rail projects to...
Ai Weiwei Exhibit at Olympic Sculpture Park Is Very Deep, and I Totally Get It
Ai Weiwei’s view-dominating homage to animal heads just installed at Olympic Sculpture Park is controversial—for SOME people, anyway. But me? I totally get it.
In...
Transplant Celebrating 10 Years in Seattle Fears It’s Too Late to Ask How To Pronounce Sequim
One transplant’s 10-year Seattle anniversary turned from nostalgic celebration to a source of anxiety today after he realized that he might have waited too...
‘Doesn’t Get Much Better Than This,’ Says Seattle Man Enjoying 37-Minute Window of Sunshine at Gas Works
After a long stretch of rain, one local man expressed his gratitude for a 37-minute window of sunshine he enjoyed at Gas Works Park...
Woman Reports Living in Renton Really Not That Bad
Friends of Renton resident Rachel Hensley are concerned tonight after she reported during happy hour that living in her current city really isn’t that...
Creeptozoologist Uploads Bigfoot Pics to WikiFeet
The field of creeptozoology took one big footstep forward today as local creeptozoologist Dan McDonald uploaded the first clear and confirmed photos of Bigfoot’s...
Local Plant Addict Just Signs Paycheck Over Directly to Swansons Nursery
Following a year of ever-expanding home foliage, today one local man resigned himself to his crippling plant addiction by simply signing his entire paycheck...
Bill Gates Releases Epstein Island Reading List
To inspire evermore intellectual discourse and transparency about what high-minded topics one of the richest men alive is pondering these days, today Bill Gates...
