Ed Sheeran Opener Replacing Macklemore Already Dropped for Saying ‘Free America’
Just hours after Macklemore announced he’d been dropped by Ed Sheeran’s Loop tour for saying “Free Palestine,” his replacement has reportedly also already been...
Bumbershoot Crowd Walks Out After Investigation Finds Festival Named After Umbrella
All Bumbershoot attendees walked out of Seattle Center en masse today after an investigation confirmed the music festival was named after an old-timey term...
Bumbershoot Threatened By Smaller, Upstart Festival ‘Rain Jacket’
Organizers for this Labor Day Weekend’s Bumbershoot are reportedly still struggling to compete with newer, smaller, and more lightweight music festival “Rain Jacket” as...
Shit: Time Warp Back to When Dolly, Tim Curry and U.S. Constitution Were Alive Not Working
Despite multiple attempts at just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right, putting their hands on their hips, bringing...
Home Gardening Virtuoso Successfully Turns $800 into a Side Salad
As Seattle's home gardeners begin their fall harvest this month, today one mistro of the local homegrown produce scene impressed his family and friends...
Fall Bitches Already Fondly Gazing at Summer’s Sweet Demise
Three entire weeks before the first official day of fall, today the Pacific Northwest’s most cinnamon-popping, gourd-decorating fall bitches are reportedly already smiling at...
Family That Left Food Out on Porch for St. Jimothy Wakes Up to Yard Full of Presents
After leaving pet food out on the porch overnight in hopes St. Jimothy soon would be there, one Ballard family woke up this morning...
Adorable New Video Shows Moment Jimothy Escaped Henry Mural as a Baby
A newly discovered video shows absolutely precious footage of the moment viral internet sensation Jimothy the raccoon lept off a Henry mural into real...
Nation Almost Kills All Sexist 9-to-5 Bosses in Loving Tribute to Dolly Parton
In a loving tribute to legendary songwriter, actor, business leader and philanthropist Dolly Parton, today the nation came together to almost kill their sexist...
Nation Reminded This Is Last Day You Can Talk About Jimothy
Just in case anyone forgot or has been too busy crocheting the visage of the nation’s favorite short-spined raccoon, today the nation was reminded...
