Family That Left Food Out on Porch for St. Jimothy Wakes Up to Yard Full of Presents
After leaving pet food out on the porch overnight in hopes St. Jimothy soon would be there, one Ballard family woke up this morning...
Adorable New Video Shows Moment Jimothy Escaped Henry Mural as a Baby
A newly discovered video shows absolutely precious footage of the moment viral internet sensation Jimothy the raccoon lept off a Henry mural into real...
World Cup Tourist Blissfully Unaware Every Seattle Limebike Seat Now Covered in Fremont Taintjuice
One World Cup tourist blissfully unaware every Limebike seat he rode on today was covered in a naked Fremont Solstice Parade reveler’s taintjuice over...
Paleontologists Believe Early Ford Raptor Had Feathers
After years of debate, Washington State University paleontologists believe a fossil just discovered at The Gorge finally proves that the early Ford Raptor did...
Bumble Bees at Sequim Lavender Festival Baked AF
As is tradition in their annual pilgrammage to celebrate puffing their favorite strain of bud, today bumble bees at the Sequim Lavender Festival by...
Study Finds Siren-Related Deaths Among Sailors Way Down
In more proof that crime rates aren’t as high as people make them seem sometimes, today a study confirmed that Siren-related deaths among sailors...
Pigeon Does Some of His Best Shitting by Carwash
Known for his big, white, splattery shits that cover the passenger side window, all the way down to the rear car door handle, fans of...
Seattleites Pumped for First Day of Sunburn
With swimsuits, boats and paddleboards at the ready to end a 3-day June weekend on a high note, today Seattleites all over the city...
Nation’s White Dads Announce Plan to Chop Some Shit Up on Father’s Day
Immediately following a trip to Ace Hardware to get their barbecue propane tanks refilled, today the nation’s white dads announced their plan during a...
Socialist Exiled from D&D Group After Trying to Split Party Again
After eight months of gaming session, local socialist Alex Raymond is once again looking for a new Dungeons & Dragons group because his attempts...
