Two days after a tragic shooting that killed three people at Seattle Center, Seattle Police Department officials say confusion and questions continue to swirl around what’s taking Mayor Katie Wilson so long to find the second shooting suspect.
“We have no idea what’s taking her so long—we all know from watching Law & Order, the suspect should have been found, prosecuted and imprisoned in less than an hour, but here we are two days out still waiting for an update from her on where he’s at,” said SPD Chief Shon Barnes, as he tapped his foot and looked at his wristwatch waiting for when he can fly back to his wife and family home in Chicago for a few weeks. “We’ve heard the delay might have something to do with her waiting for other dignitaries like Gov. Ferguson and Rep. Jayapal to find their Sherlock Holmes costumes and magnifying glasses to set out on a search for him together, but we just don’t know.”
The confusion has called into question Mayor Wilson’s competence as Seattle’s lead detective and public safety information officer on the shooting investigation.
“You know, I’d like to think that when I fly back to Chicago every weekend to be with my wife and family, I can trust Mayor Wilson has the leadership skills and composure to conduct this investigation and update the public on it in a timely manner, but I guess she just can’t,” said Chief Barnes, who has a Phd in leadership studies, while booking the soonest available flight back to Chicago. “Our officers have been working really hard waiting for her to track down all the leads and update us on them—we’ll update you when she updates us. We can’t really do anything ourselves until she figures this all out on her own.”
At press time, SPD officers fed up with waiting for Mayor Wilson to crack the case were marching to City Hall and demanding the city defund its mayor so there’s enough money for Chief Barnes to also have a condo in Miami.
