Alaska Airlines Prepares Pivot to Dog Sledding Just in Case Whole Airline Industry Thing Doesn’t Work Out
After reckoning with the unsustainability of keeping an airline financially afloat if jet fuel prices keep skyrocketing with no end in sight, today sources...
M’s Run Short on New Ferry Food Trays, Replacements Expected by 2032
After almost completely selling out of much-anticipated ferry food trays on Opening Day today, Mariner food vendors announced their stock of ferries may not...
Starbucks Promises to Make Seattle Coffee Utopia Again by Moving to Nashville
After rumors that the corporate coffee giant no longer cares about the city that put it on the map, this week Starbucks confirmed plans...
Ivar’s Restaurants Release 50,000 Pounds of Fried Prawns Back Into Ocean For Earth Day
In an impassioned and excessive display of environmentalism, local restaurant chain, Ivar’s, released 50,000 pounds of fried prawns into the Puget Sound for Earth...
Cocaine Salmon Would Like to See You Swim That Far Upstream without a Little Bump
As appalling news spread of how rampant the presence of cocaine is in salmon these days, one irritable local Coho on the ‘caine said...
Mariners Fans Heading to Game on Ferry Opt for $8 Nacho Upgrade
After agreeing they were all unusually hungry for some reason, Mariners fans heading to the game today on the ferry collectively opted for the...
‘You Didn’t See Shit,’ Local Says to California Tourist Witnessing Sunny Seattle Spring
As locals basked in sunshine utterly surrounded by greenery, flowers, sparkling waters, and unbeatable snow-capped mountain views almost too beautiful together to be true,...
Leavenworth Cabin Renters Now Contractually Obligated to Live, Laugh and/or Love
After a rough winter for everyone, one AirBnb host is contractually requiring their Leavenworth cabin renters to Live, Laugh and/or Love or else pay...
Franz Debuts Budget-friendly ‘Some of the Things’ Bagels
Attempting to address the rising cost of groceries, today Franz Bakery announced its new cost-saving "Some of the Things" bagel."We've listened to the feedback...
Seattle Couple Plans Destination Wedding for West Seattle
Recently engaged Seattle lovebirds Kevin Hwang and Trucy Schmidt formally announced today that their destination wedding will take place on the far-flung shores of...
