Man Smoking Outside Cafe Warns Against Eating Meat
Puffing Winston Lights as he leaned back in the chair of a Capitol Hill cafe’s outdoor patio, local yoga instructor Mark Roeman educated his...
McMenamins to Challenge Itself by Restoring Historic Tacoma K-Mart
Oregon-based McMenamins—known for restoring historic PNW properties into nostalgia-packed bars and hotels—announced today they’re going to fuck around with an abandoned K-Mart in Tacoma...
Cougar Mountain Summer Retreat Cancellation Wreaks Havoc Among Bellevue Housewives
The COVID-19 pandemic has claimed yet another beloved, annual tradition—the Cougar Mountain Summer Retreat—leaving housewives across Bellevue devastated in its wake.
Cancellation of the long-awaited...
‘I Just Can’t Bring Myself to Cook in the Summer,’ Says Man Who Doesn’t Cook in the Fall, Winter or Spring
After smashing the food delivery button for the second time in 12 hours, Maple Leaf's local restaurant savior Henry Woodbury confessed tonight he just...
Tucker Carlson Questions Why Dark Meat Needs to Be Served at Thanksgiving
Ahead of the long holiday weekend, today Fox News host Tucker Carlson said on his nationally televised program he just wanted to know why...
Orcas Launch Human Watching Tours
After scoping out several hot spots to take orca pods near Seattle shores recently, today marine biologists and several Seattle residents confirmed orcas have...
Two-Drink Limit Imposed After Knitting Needle Fight at New Capitol Hill Crochet & Coffee Café
A new two-drink coffee limit will be enforced starting this week at Capitol Hill's new crochet and coffee spot after an overcaffeinated patron snatched...
Area Cafe Really Pushing It With New Wood Milk
In a bold move, Madison Park’s Cafe Ohm has thrown its hat into the fierce dairy substitute menu game with its newest alternative, wood...
Caffé Vita Relents; Employees Can Now Give Pastries To Homeless If Thrown Really Hard
In response to the firing of ten employees for the grotesque shame the company suffered when rogue baristas recklessly distributed old coffee and stale...
New Study Shows Mystery Liquid at Bottom of Kayak 90% White Claw and Pee
University of Washington researchers published a landmark study today confirming that the lukewarm, beige slurry that’s been sloshing around at the bottom of your...
