Man Smoking Outside Cafe Warns Against Eating Meat
Puffing Winston Lights as he leaned back in the chair of a Capitol Hill cafe’s outdoor patio, local yoga instructor Mark Roeman educated his brother-in-law today on the multitude of benefits a meat-free lifestyle...
Dick’s HR Department Just Gives Up
After years of valiantly combating thousands of inadvertently spoken HR violations, the Dick’s Drive-In Human Resources team announced today that it just can’t do it anymore.
In addition to a backlog of inappropriate statement...
Woman Ages into Vaccine Eligibility While Reading Food Blog Recipe for Easy Cinnamon Rolls
An innocent distraction had unexpected consequences this week when a spry 31-year-old Meghan Powers aged into vaccine eligibility while scrolling down a Kailyn’s Kitchyn blog page for an easy cinnamon rolls recipe.
“All I wanted...
Research Shows Yakima Actually Nothing Like Palm Springs
Contrary to long-held claims made by an infamous Interstate 82 billboard, geographic experts at the prestigious Center for Obvious Studies shocked the world today when they announced there are actually exactly zero similarities between...
Seattle Magazine Awarded as Top Source of Information on How to Get Away from Seattle
Today a venerated group of local Seattle tourism media influencers awarded Seattle Magazine the 2024 title for being the area’s top source of information on how the hell to get away from Seattle.
“When you...
Single Man at Brewery Without Dog or Kids Getting Weird Looks From Everybody
A single man’s trip to a local brewery reportedly became awkward today after the absence of a dog or children in tow prompted weird looks from everyone at the family friendly establishment.
“I just came...
Area Cafe Really Pushing It With New Wood Milk
In a bold move, Madison Park’s Cafe Ohm has thrown its hat into the fierce dairy substitute menu game with its newest alternative, wood milk.
“We were looking for something our Chaturangas could really Dandasana...
Jay Inslee Will Announce New Escape Room Password Clue on May 31
Olympia, WA – Don’t give up just yet, shelter-in-place detectives: You’ve found the key to the safe containing the riddle which led to the map, but you are not out of the woods yet....
‘I Just Can’t Bring Myself to Cook in the Summer,’ Says Man Who Doesn’t Cook in the Fall, Winter or Spring
After smashing the food delivery button for the second time in 12 hours, Maple Leaf's local restaurant savior Henry Woodbury confessed tonight he just can’t bring himself to cook in the summer to a...
Rash of Starbucks Closures Leave Locals Unsure of Where They Can Say They Would Never Get Coffee
With Starbucks closing numerous locations throughout Seattle, including the first that voted to unionize on Dec. 9, an increasing number of local coffee snobs are at a loss as to where they won’t go...
