Dog-Owning, Mountain-Climbing Brewmaster Realizes He Hates Dogs, Mountains, Beer
In a moment of inconvenient clarity atop Vesper Peak, one local man who has made his entire personality a combination of dogs, mountaineering, and...
‘Not All Who Wander Are Lost,’ Posts Quarantined Travel Blogger On Awe-Inspiring Trip to Dumpster
Needling travel correspondent Vegan Vagabond is back with a special dispatch from her Capitol Hill apartment complex.
By Vegan Vagabond
The moment the heavy, modern doors...
New Dick’s-a-thon Route Just Endless Loop Between Pony and The Cuff
Today organizers of this weekend’s annual Dick’s-a-thon run—benefitting local search and rescue groups and the Washington National Parks Fund—announced a new alternate route that...
Man Protesting Drag Brunch Actually Just Protesting Brunch
This morning a man many thought was a homophobe as he loudly protested a Pride Weekend drag brunch on Capitol Hill was reportedly actually...
Local Mushroom Hunter Mounts Giant Head of Lion’s Mane Over Fireplace
To ensure everyone entering his household from this day forth knows he is at the top of the food chain in these Pacific Northwest...
DEA Classifies Molly Moon’s as Schedule 1 Drug
Citing its high overdose potential, today the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) officially added Molly Moon’s ice cream to its list of Schedule 1 substances.
“Molly...
Every Belltown Restaurant Now a Tom Douglas Restaurant
With his acquisition of the Subway at Third and Lenora, Tom Douglas has now expanded his restaurant empire to include every restaurant in Belltown.
“Subway...
Broke Millennial Woman Freezes Eggs in Dippin’ Dots Pack
Drowning in debt and undecided about embarking on the adventure that is raising a child, one broke local millennial has opted to freeze her...
Costco Hot Dogs Go on Strike to Protest No Raises Since 1985
Demanding what they call “Food Court Justice,” today Coscto’s famously cheap frankfurters have gone on-strike as they demand their first cost-of-hot-dog increase in 39...
Brewers Association Admits Sour Beer Trend Just April Fool’s Prank That Got Out-of-Hand
In a late Friday press conference, executive director of the Independent Brewers Association admitted that the increasingly popular sour beer category was supposed to...
