5 Essentials for Cozy Fall Weekend Camping in the Left Lane
Temperatures may be dipping and more rain be dripping, but none of that has to stop you from taking your time to enjoy a...
Raccoon Mortified to Learn He Took Date to Rummage Through Cybertruck Instead of Dumpster
A local raccoon was reportedly mortified today after realizing he accidentally took his Foragr date to rummage through a Cybertruck instead of a dumpster.
"I...
Californian Denounces Perfectly Fine Mexican Restaurant
California native Rhea Larkin made waves today as she took to social media to denounce a perfectly fine Mexican restaurant in Ballard.
“These have to...
Trader Joe’s Bouncer Declines Entrance to Man Not Wearing Enough North Face
Despite several signs explicitly requiring all shoppers to wear enough middle-class outdoor gear for a hike up Little Si, witnesses waiting in line outside...
Taylor Shellfish Farms Introduces New Easier-to-Clean Geoducks
Today the Puget Sound’s Taylor Shellfish Farms made local seafood history again with the launch of its exclusive new product: pre-cut, easier-to-clean geoducks.
“Are you...
New Family Friendly Brewery To Lock Kids In Padded Room While Parents Get Shithoused
In a move that has local parents raving, the owner of Enfant Terrible Brewing has announced that its new Greenwood location provides a padded,...
Portage Bay Café Brunch Committee Bans Local Woman for Ordering Plain Waffle
The Portage Bay Café Brunch Committee handed down an official decision today to ban local woman Megan Thompson from weekend brunches permanently after finding...
EU Countries Banning Travel from U.S. Unsure Why They Didn’t Do This Years Ago
Brussels – Two weeks after it decided to extend its ban on U.S. travelers, the European Union announced today that its cobblestone streets have...
Cougar Mountain Summer Retreat Cancellation Wreaks Havoc Among Bellevue Housewives
The COVID-19 pandemic has claimed yet another beloved, annual tradition—the Cougar Mountain Summer Retreat—leaving housewives across Bellevue devastated in its wake.
Cancellation of the long-awaited...
Young Man Invited to Apply for Cashier Position After Performance at Self-checkout
The Ballard PCC staff room is buzzing with excitement today over the potential recruitment of grocery store regular Ethan Bilmore, who was invited to...
