Area Cafe Really Pushing It With New Wood Milk
In a bold move, Madison Park’s Cafe Ohm has thrown its hat into the fierce dairy substitute menu game with its newest alternative, wood milk.
“We were looking for something our Chaturangas could really Dandasana...
Alaska Airlines Logo Only Person Smiling at Sea-Tac
After more than a week of canceled flights in and out of Seattle, officials confirmed that as of today the only person smiling at Sea-Tac International Airport is the Alaska Airlines logo taxiing up...
Belltown Resident Excited Order Tracker Shows Only 90,000 Minutes Left Until Moto Pizza Ready
Overjoyed that he won’t have to wait literally forever to satisfy his craving for Detroit-style pizza here in Seattle, today Belltown resident Bryan Miller was excited to see an order tracker update confirming his...
Tacoma Traffic Jam Still Coolest Thing To Do In Tacoma
Dozens of drivers put their vehicles in park during Saturday's completely stalled traffic on I-5 to celebrate what is still widely hailed as the coolest thing to do in Tacoma: Traffic Jam.
“Everybody’s hanging...
Caffé Vita Relents; Employees Can Now Give Pastries To Homeless If Thrown Really Hard
In response to the firing of ten employees for the grotesque shame the company suffered when rogue baristas recklessly distributed old coffee and stale pastries to the city’s vulnerable homeless population, Caffé Vita announced...
Alaska Airlines Logo Only Person Smiling at Sea-Tac
After a thorough search at Sea-Tac International Airport this afternoon, federal aviation officials are confirming that the only face with a genuine smile on it was the one painted on the back of an...
Inflation Woes Continue as Beth’s Cafe 12-Egg Omelette Now Costs $37,000
Inflation woes continued to mount today as diners excited for Beth’s Cafe grand re-opening were shocked to find that the surging price of eggs had resulted in their 12-egg omelette now costing $37,000.
“I should...
Everett Bikini Barista Stand Revealed As Stealth Starbucks
A full decade after the Capitol Hill 15th Avenue Coffee & Tea Raid of 2009, the Stealth Starbucks concept has struck again – this time in Everett where raging customers just discovered the truth...
Starbucks Recommends Pumpkin Spice Booster if Last Latte Was More Than 2 Hours Ago
After much speculation since the release of their fall flavors last month, coffee experts at Starbucks’ CDC (Caffeine Deficiency Center) officially announced today that they will begin recommending pumpkin-spice boosters if someone’s last latte...
Man Kinda Wishes He Knew Second Stimulus Not Coming Before He Spent $49 on Single Turnip at PCC
A Fremont man returned from PCC with a nasty surprise today after discovering that a second stimulus check would not eventually be arriving this fall to rescue him from his costly impulse purchase of...
