Valentine’s Plans Include Several Torrid Encounters with Delivery Drivers
Determined to avoid a lonely Valentine’s Day, one Phinney Ridge woman has arranged a busy day filled with several tantalizing and torrid contactless encounters with local delivery drivers.
“After spending the last 340 days alone...
Passengers Banging in Amtrak Bathroom Join New Low Club
Forgoing the classic thrills of the mile high club, one adventurous couple decided to hit a new low today after banging in the bathroom of a moving Amtrak train during their journey from Seattle...
Couple Celebrates 8th Straight Summer of Not Taking Ferry to Victoria
Tonight, a refrigerated bottle of fine Costco red wine is ready to celebrate Corey and Lisa Stottlemyre’s eighth consecutive summer of almost taking an adventurous-sounding voyage to Victoria, B.C., but then not.
“Every year I...
Brewers Association Admits Sour Beer Trend Just April Fool’s Prank That Got Out-of-Hand
In a late Friday press conference, executive director of the Independent Brewers Association admitted that the increasingly popular sour beer category was supposed to be nothing more than an April Fool’s joke, so everyone...
5 Safety Tips for Kayaking the Atmospheric River This Weekend
Planning to enjoy a scenic kayak down the atmospheric river this weekend? Make sure you heed our five top safety tips before heading out to row row row your boat gently down the tropical...
Alaska Airlines Logo Only Person Smiling at Sea-Tac
After more than a week of canceled flights in and out of Seattle, officials confirmed that as of today the only person smiling at Sea-Tac International Airport is the Alaska Airlines logo taxiing up...
Boeing Execs Sneak Into Museum of Flight to See What A Safe 737 Looked Like
Under pressure to improve Boeing’s safety reputation, today Boeing executives quietly visited the Museum of Flight to see the only remaining Boeing 737 that was built correctly.
“Wow, look at all the rivets! It’s like...
Salumi Deli Announces New Charcuterie Replacement Shakes for Gals on the Go
Legendary Seattle delicatessen Salumi has announced they are expanding their menu with a new line of convenient Charcuterie Replacement Shakes for gals on the go.
“Our refreshing Salami Sunrise shake contains four slices of salami,...
Starbucks CEO Working Publicity Shift at Café Fucks Up Every Single Order
Starbucks CEO Laxman Narasimhan took a break from extracting value for shareholders to extract some coffee during a publicity shift at a Capitol Hill Starbucks today, where he reportedly proceeded to fuck up every...
Dirty Nalgene Water Bottle Brews Own Kombucha
One University of Washington sophomore’s happy accident in a dirty Nalgene bottle has led to a flavor sensation hitting the University District: small-batch, hand-fermented kombucha.
“The trick to get the texture just right is...
