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New Study Shows Cherry Trees Produce Up to 8 Million Blossoms, And Every Goddamn One Of Them Will End Up On Your Fucking Subaru 

SPD Flooded with Bereavement Requests Following Trump Indictment

Babeland’s New Geoduck Vibrator Recalled for Burrowing Too Deep to Dig Out

Ballard Resident Prepares for Weekend Road-trip to Beacon Hill

State of Washington Gives Up, Will Change Name to Seattle

Beautiful Day to Work Outside Abruptly Ended by 1-Degree Temperature Change

Determined to Seal Deal on First Stanley Cup Victory, Kraken Sign New Goalie Tonya Harding

Remote Worker Saving Environment by Stationary Biking to Work

Trending Now

New Study Shows Cherry Trees Produce Up to 8 Million Blossoms, And Every Goddamn One Of Them Will End Up On Your Fucking Subaru 

SPD Flooded with Bereavement Requests Following Trump Indictment

Babeland’s New Geoduck Vibrator Recalled for Burrowing Too Deep to Dig Out

The Needling Again Issues Cease-and-Desist Orders to Sudden Influx of Fake Real Fake News Outlets

Anti-Umbrella Activists Announce Lineup for 50th Annual Bumbershoot Boycott

The Needling's intrepid and completely unbiased reporters provide Native Seattle-area residents, newcomers, California carpetbaggers and people born here sometime in the last century earnestly inauthentic analysis of local news and culture.

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