Just in time for World Cup tourists to make things more interesting this weekend, prediction markets Polymarket and Kalshi announced they are now taking bets on fights in Washington ferry lines.
“This Tesla that just cut off a Subaru is done for,” said one Mukilteo ferry line fight onlooker placing a bet on Kalshi as the Tesla driver was grabbed by the collar and suplexed out of his car window. “This weekend’s White House UFC match is gonna have nothing on this. I, meanwhile, have a $300 bet on a Prius owner coming out of nowhere to finish the job with a folding chair.”
Although ferry line fights have historically been bet on by surrounding drivers getting out of their cars and forming a circle around the combatants to throw down cash bets on the spot, online prediction markets are making it easier to do the same from people’s cars.
“It’s amazing—my wife sitting next to me as we wait forever to get on this ferry has no idea I just bet the kids’ college fund on this dragout Audi vs. BMW driver fight,” said another better watching a fight while waiting to board the ferry in Edmonds. “My money’s on the Audi guy–aw, shit, the BMW driver has a bat and sounds like they’re from Long Island. Well, the kids all wanted to be influencers more than doctors anyway.”
At press time, an unassuming Toyota Camry driver in a Bainbridge Island ferry line fight was reportedly responsible for half the onlooking drivers losing their entire life savings when it turned out she had a pickleball paddle and knew how to use it.
