Just in time for World Cup tourists to make things more interesting this weekend, prediction markets Polymarket and Kalshi announced they are now taking bets on fights in Washington ferry lines.
“Oh my God, this guy that just cut off a Subaru in a rented Tesla is finished,” said one ferry line fight onlooker placing a bet on Kalshi as the man was grabbed by the collar and suplexed out of his car window. “This weekend’s White House UFC match is gonna have nothing on this. I, meanwhile, have a $300 bet on a Prius owner coming out of nowhere to finish the job.”
Although ferry line fights have historically been bet on by surrounding drivers getting out of their cars and forming a circle around the combatants and throwing down cash bets on the spot, online prediction markets are making it easier to do the same from people’s cars.
“It’s amazing—my wife has no idea I just bet the kids’ college fund on this dragout Audi vs. BMW driver fight and my money’s on the Audi dude,” said another better watching a fight while waiting to board the ferry to Bainbridge. “Aw, shit, the BMW driver is bringing out the brass knuckles and sounds like they’re from Long Island. Well, the kids all wanted to be influencers more than doctors anyway.”
At press time, an unassuming Toyota Camry driver in an Edmonds ferry line fight was reportedly responsible for half the onlooking drivers losing their entire life savings when it turned out she had a bat and a great swing.
