After a thorough search at Sea-Tac International Airport this afternoon following the FAA’s national grounding of all flights, airport officials confirmed the only person smiling at Sea-Tac International Airport is the Alaska Airlines logo taxiing up and down runways without a care in the world.
“Look at him — happy guy has no idea what’s going on at all,” said one traveler indefinitely stuck at Sea-Tac looking at the Alaska logo’s aircraft doing zoomies in the rain on all the closed runways. “Bet he doesn’t even know he’s on a Boeing.”
Although nationwide airplane groundings are extremely rare, confirmation that the Alaska logo was the only person smiling at the airport just as is always the case helped maintain some sense of normalcy.
“If we found anyone else here smiling at the idea of long security check lines, $12 capuccinos in this economy, and the idea of sitting next to a stranger for hours, that would obviously need to be reported as suspicious behavior, but luckily we’ve had none so far,” said Port of Seattle spokeman Larry Smith. “For right now, everyone is safely complaining to each other about how horrible it is to fly somewhere, especially today.”
At press time, the Alaska airplane logo was still looking like he was having the time of his life as an airport marshall threw an illuminated wand for its aircraft to go fetch.
