Today Toyota revealed its all-new, highly anticipated 2027 Pacific Northwest Edition Prius, which for the first time ever comes with extra mirrors so that drivers can more fully enjoy the suffering of those stuck behind them in traffic.
“While I pretend I’m driving just under the speed limit in I-5’s left lane for optimal fuel economy, these additional mirrors give me an even better view of why I’m really doing it,” said test driver Olivia Green as four extra mirrors gave her four fabulous new angles on beet-red pickup truck and SUV drivers stuck behind her spittling obscenities. “Oh wow! I can also see how I’m annoying people two, three, even four cars back. I can’t believe how long I was settling for only seeing one passing driver at a time flip me off.”
The PNW edition comes fully loaded with cruise control automatically set to 50 mph, faded vintage “Student Driver” and “Obama ‘08” bumper stickers, 10-speaker JBL sound system tuned to NPR, and can go more than five years without washing.
“Personally, I think the most brilliant feature on this model is the center console’s popcorn machine,” Kaminsky said as she witnessed a trapped BMW driver’s eye blood vessel burst. “Best theater in the city.”
At press time, Subaru was reportedly planning to compete against the new Prius model with its own PNW Edition outfitted with gear and cruise control functions that allow passengers to literally camp in the left lane while cozily admiring views of beautiful traffic backups stretching for miles.
