After days of San Francisco wondering where its newest seaside celebrity, Chonkers, has been, today the gigantic 2,000-pound sea lion let them know he’s just up in Seattle on some business.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be back on Pier 39 in no time – I just have some business to take care of up here,” said Chonkers on a phone call to friends back home. “Meeting up with a 37-year-old man in Seattle some seal friends from Hawaii told me about who says he’s very rich.”
Worried Chonkers may be avenging the attempted murder of beloved Hawaii seal Lani after hearing a man from Seattle threw a giant rock at her head, knocking her out, the sea lion said there’s nothing to worry about.
“Oh, no, just heard the salmon up here is great,” Chonkers said as a giant thud was heard in the background. “Don’t worry that was just one of those Pike Place Fish guys dropping a dead fish for the first time.”
At press time, Chonkers was calling Rep. Marie Gluesenkamp-Perez to let her know he just wanted to talk.
