Known for his big, white, splattery shits that cover the passenger side window, all the way down to the rear car door handle, fans of Georgetown bird-circle regular Delvin the Pigeon say he does some of his best shitting directly by the exit of Brown Bear Car Wash in Seattle’s Interbay neighborhood.
“He’s an artist,” tweeted Delores, a Black-capped Chickadee who’s a longtime fan of his work. “I do most of my shitting on statues in Fremont and those are stationary and been there for years, dirty for years—honestly, it’s a lay-up. Delvin, on the other wing will tattoo a squeaky-clean Buick moments after it emerges from a $24 Beary Best wash package because for his masterpieces, he’ll settle for nothing less than putting them on the cleanest of canvases.”
Local birdwatchers and frustrated car-owners alike are very familiar with Delvin and his car-wash-ruining diabolical shits.
“I spotted him while I was in line,” said Alex Wafter, 56, a birdwatcher and owner of a forest-green Subaru Crosstrek. “He’s an absolute specimen of the avian variety, and I could just tell by the way he was nibbling on a Subway wrapper from the trash that he was about to take a shit so massive it would cover my entire windshield, and make me turn around and get another Beary Clean wash package and I was correct.”
At press time, Delvin was seen loading up on discarded Five Guys French fries to drop one of his finest works yet on a Tesla sun roof.
