Amid questions about what communication errors led to the public waiting so long for accurate public safety updates after the Seattle Center shooting last week, Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson says she apologizes for being naive enough to believe police knew how to do their job all on their own.
“I apologize for assuming that police didn’t need their hands held through every step of gathering and communicating accurate information about the shooting with the public in a timely manner—it was admittedly a big rookie mistake and I won’t make it again,” say Mayor Wilson. “I naively thought that because SPD has its own experienced detectives and communications staff that I would not need to play lead detective and communications specialist that night and I’m sorry—I had no idea how helpless they all were without me telling them exactly what to do. I mistakenly thought our city was paying several police leaders more than $300k a year to do that instead—my bad.”
Several city councilmembers say they’re astonished at the mayor’s idiotically blind trust in SPD’s competence.
“Why do you think we have to fly people in from 2,000 miles away to be police chief? SPD officers are obviously total dipshits—gah, get a freaking clue, Katie,” said Councilmember Bob Kettle. “We didn’t lower the testing standards for recruiting new police last year for no reason – it was the only way to hire enough of them. Now we’re probably going to have to make one of them the next permanent chief, what a nightmare.”
At press time, SPD still couldn’t tell anyone how many suspects are still on the loose because Mayor Wilson hasn’t figured it out for them yet.
