“Seattle Squeeze? Yes, Please!” Jokes Divorcee Desperate For Warmth Of Human Touch
The closure of the Alaskan Way Viaduct has strained traffic around the region for weeks, causing tempers to flare for many – but not for Seattle divorcee Brent Buttinger.
“Seattle Squeeze? Yes, please! We can...
15 Signs You’re Too Cozy To Go Out Tonight, Seattle
As the sun sets on Seattle, the dreary elements, seasonal depression and packs of wild raccoons descend rapidly on our fair city. The warm glow of your home will call out to you, its...
Man Comes Out As Bellevue Resident
After years of keeping who he truly is in hiding, today 33-year-old Tristan Scraggs officially came out to friends and family as a resident of Bellevue.
“All those times I said I couldn’t pop out...
New Study Confirms Cats Can’t Spread COVID-19, But Would If Given Option
A new study out of the University of Washington has left local pet owners with mixed emotions after scientists confirmed that their beloved pet cats cannot spread the COVID-19 virus, but definitely would knowingly...
Seattle Coffee Shops Thrust Back at Starbucks Porn Ban
A collective of independent coffee shops in Seattle are firing back at Starbucks’ plan to ban pornography from their in-store wifi, offering customers the kind of double-dicking, elbow-deep, all-anal action that leaves absolutely nothing...
5 Ways to Hide Your Schadenfreude When You Find Out a Tech Bro Just Lost His Job
As thousands of tech industry workers face the difficulty of losing their jobs—including 9,000 Amazon workers laid off this week alone—it’s saddling thousands more with the even more difficult task of struggling to act...
Upper Middle Class White Men Finally Have Safe Space to Gather This Week at Seattle Boat Show
After a harrowing year of having no other safe space to gather, local upper middle class white men will once again finally have a place to discuss the issues plaguing their community with the...
Frye Art Museum to Start Paying Customers to Visit
In a revolutionary marketing campaign set to match its revolutionary art exhibits, the Frye Art Museum has just announced it will start paying visitors to see its galleries.
While the First Hill museum is...
It’s Official: Painted Solstice Reveler to Postpone Shower Til After Pride
After much speculation, sources have confirmed that the glittered rainbow body paint applied to Seth McHutchins’ body for last weekend’s Fremont Solstice Parade will not be washed off and reapplied before Pride this weekend.
“I...
Dave Matthews, Macklemore Save Bumbershoot with New Crossover Album ‘Crash Into My Thrift Shop’
Move aside, Lizzo: Bumbershoot ticket-holders brokenhearted to hear of the Billboard chart queen's canceled concert tonight quickly had their spirits lifted today when Dave Matthews and Macklemore announced they would be kicking off...
