Croc Martens Crossover Footwear Event to End Humanity as We Know It
In what some are calling the fast-fashion event of the millennia, Crocs and Dr. Martens said that next week they’ll be simultaneously releasing their...
Mayor Durkan Kicks Off Pride Month Festivities with Rainbow-Colored Tear Gas
Determined to reconcile with Capitol Hill—the center of Seattle’s LGBTQ community and this week’s Black Lives Matter protests against police brutality—Mayor Jenny Durkan kicked...
Neighborhood Dads’ Lawn Care Cycles Sync After Father’s Day Fishing Trip
In a testament to how deeply they bonded together on a Father’s Day fishing trip this last weekend, the lawn care cycles of a...
Frye Art Museum to Start Paying Customers to Visit
In a revolutionary marketing campaign set to match its revolutionary art exhibits, the Frye Art Museum has just announced it will start paying visitors...
Kshama Sawant Touched, Horrified By Own Adorably Mass-Produced Funko Pop Figure
After announcing that she will not be seeking re-election to the Seattle City Council Thursday, Kshama Sawant also went on record to say that...
Seattle Couple Experiments with “Maybe Recyclables”
One Seattle couple is putting an end to dumping things that shouldn’t go into the mixed recycling bin — and, most importantly, all of...
Christopher Nolan Announces Phoenix Jones Reboot
Though Phoenix Jones’ MIA status over the last month has prompted widespread rumors of his permanent retirement, Batman movie director Christopher Nolan surprised Emerald...
Report: Wild Raccoon Would Love to Be Adopted By You, If You Just Had the Courage To Make the First Move
A new report revealed that the wild raccoons hanging outside your house that you’ve been admiring would love to be adopted by you, if...
‘I’ve Canceled My WaPo Subscription,’ Announces Amazon Prime Member
Today it was revealed that one of the 200,000 people to cancel their Washington Post subscriptions this last week after its owner Jeff Bezos...
Eastern Washingtonians Upset They Can Only Be Anti-Semitic or Islamophobic
As the world reels from one massive tragedy to another, thousands of Eastern Washingtonians say they are mourning more innocent times when they didn’t...
