Louis C.K. Fan Wondering If It’ll Ever Be Okay to Suck a Bag of Dick’s Again
Hope is fading fast for one man who is wondering if he’ll ever be able to enjoy sucking down a bag of Dick’s again without reprisal.
Ever since the #MeToo movement took down his comedic...
Santa Going Green with Sound Transit, Promises Presents By July
Bowing to pressure from the Elf Liberation Front, Santa announced today that Christmas is going extra green this year in the Seattle area with exclusively Sound Transit-delivered gifts guaranteed to be on doorsteps by...
Woman Swears Brunch Outfit is Not Pajamas
A Pioneer Square woman’s Sunday plans to enjoy a relaxing brunch at London Plane with a friend visiting from Paris were dashed by repeated accusations that she was publicly dining in pajamas.
“Leggings and an...
Seattleites Pumped for First Day of Sunburn
Swimsuits, boats and paddleboards at the ready to end a 3-day June weekend on a high note, today Seattleites all over the city said they were pumped to enjoy the first day of sunburn....
Left Lane Camper Spotted Roaming I-5 Safely Relocated, Released onto Highway 99
Today state outdoor transportation life officials are celebrating the safe capture, relocation, and release of a local left lane camper onto Highway 99 after it had somehow dangerously scampered onto Interstate 5.
“Don’t know what...
520 Bridge Twitter Feeds to Launch Weekly Podcast
The official and unofficial 520 Bridge Twitter accounts announced today they’re crossing over into the podcast world this summer with weekly episodes of “Just Another Floater.”
The podcast will focus on meandering in-studio interviews
with commuters,...
KEXP Holds Eddie Vedder Hostage Until Pledge Goal Met
In a shocking turn of events, it has become apparent that KEXP officials have kidnapped Pearl Jam lead singer Eddie Vedder, and are holding him hostage inside of the radio station’s abandoned Gathering Space.
The...
‘Stupid Californians Priced Me Out,’ Says Stupid Seattleite Pricing Out Denver
A thorough investigation confirmed today that it was indeed thousands of stupid Californians moving to Seattle who priced out Josh Hastings, a stupid Seattleite now pricing people out in Denver.
“I never really wanted to...
Modern-Day Casanova Sets First Zoom Date as ‘Recurring Meeting’
The online dating world was set aflutter today as word spread that one modern-day Casanova has been pre-emptively setting first dates up as ‘recurring meetings.’
“Alejandro cuts to the chase and schedules dates as recurring...
Lincoln Park Wildlife Was Actually Really Looking Forward to Those Pickleball Courts
After a group of West Seattleites recently won their months-long battle to keep Seattle Parks from constructing new pickleball courts in Lincoln Park because of the negative impact the noisy sport could have on...
