15 Signs You’re Too Cozy To Go Out Tonight, Seattle
As the sun sets on Seattle, the dreary elements, seasonal depression and packs of wild raccoons descend rapidly on our fair city. The warm...
Woman Reports Living in Renton Really Not That Bad
Friends of Renton resident Rachel Hensley are concerned tonight after she reported during happy hour that living in her current city really isn’t that...
Cap’n Jeff Bezos Leads Prime Day Pirates to SLU Shores
In what is fast becoming a loathed Seattle tradition, Cap’n Jeff Bezos again led his rag-tag crew of Prime Day Pirates to South Lake...
Bothell Man to Sneak Joint Into Hempfest
Bothell resident Charles Campbell said he was ecstatic today
to announce his plans to sneak a joint into Hempfest, which he’s clearly
attending for the first...
Face Mask Shortage Leading to Unexpected Rise in BDSM Experimentation
Amid
severe shortages of face masks during the worldwide coronavirus pandemic, reports
are flooding in that homes across the country are experiencing a rapid rise in
BDSM...
Tinder’s New Spinoff App ‘Contact’ Matches People Based on Who Infected Them
Responding quickly to the drastic cultural changes that came with the pandemic-era dating scene, today Tinder launched a new spinoff dating app that matches...
Report: Majority of 30s Spent Undoing 20s
A startling report published today revealed for the first time that the majority of your 30s will be spent undoing the untold damage that...
Man Clearly Trying to Shazam Song at Funeral
After being given the benefit of the doubt for a full minute that he just had T-Mobile or something, a group of mourners realized...
Depressed Californian Moves Up to Seattle for More Sun
Tired by a constant barrage of one rainstorm after another this winter and even early spring, today Californian Katie Berry moved up to Seattle...
Pike Place to Improve Small Business Access by Adding Parking Inside Market
After recent debates over a car-free Pike Place Market highlighted how essential parking actually is on the small, one-way bricked street thronged with pedestrians,...
