15 Signs You’re Too Cozy To Go Out Tonight, Seattle
As the sun sets on Seattle, the dreary elements, seasonal depression and packs of wild raccoons descend rapidly on our fair city. The warm...
Woman Reports Living in Renton Really Not That Bad
Friends of Renton resident Rachel Hensley are concerned tonight after she reported during happy hour that living in her current city really isn’t that...
Cap’n Jeff Bezos Leads Prime Day Pirates to SLU Shores
In what is fast becoming a loathed Seattle tradition, Cap’n Jeff Bezos again led his rag-tag crew of Prime Day Pirates to South Lake...
Fall Bitches Already Fondly Gazing at Summer’s Sweet Demise
An entire day before the first official day of autumn, the Pacific Northwest’s most cinnamon-popping, gourd-decorating fall bitches are reportedly already smiling at the...
Bothell Man to Sneak Joint Into Hempfest
Bothell resident Charles Campbell said he was ecstatic today
to announce his plans to sneak a joint into Hempfest, which he’s clearly
attending for the first...
Bernie Sanders Uses Captive Tacoma Audience to Unveil One-Man Performance of ‘Cats’
Bernie Sanders’ historic Tacoma Dome rally took a strange
turn last night as he took the momentous opportunity to premiere a self-produced
one-man production of long-running...
Local Woman’s Nightly Self-Care Routine Just Switching to Series of Smaller Devices
Local Instagram influencer Megan Murray has garnered public praise in health and wellness circles today after finally spilling the secrets of her highly successful...
Single LGBTQ+ Employee Paraded Through Company Like Stanley Cup
In a historic first for the local corporate offices of SalesPusher.com, its senior marketing team’s staff victoriously acquired its first LGBTQ+ employee and promptly...
Seattleites Pumped for First Day of Sunburn
With swimsuits, boats and paddleboards at the ready to end a 3-day June weekend on a high note, today Seattleites all over the city...
Grandma’s Old Shit Inside Downtown Public Storage Has Best View in Entire City
Longtime and long-forgotten Downtown Public Storage resident Mildred—who is a stack of mildewed National Geographic magazines waiting for you to make them into a...
