15 Signs You’re Too Cozy To Go Out Tonight, Seattle
As the sun sets on Seattle, the dreary elements, seasonal depression and packs of wild raccoons descend rapidly on our fair city. The warm...
Woman Reports Living in Renton Really Not That Bad
Friends of Renton resident Rachel Hensley are concerned tonight after she reported during happy hour that living in her current city really isn’t that...
Cap’n Jeff Bezos Leads Prime Day Pirates to SLU Shores
In what is fast becoming a loathed Seattle tradition, Cap’n Jeff Bezos again led his rag-tag crew of Prime Day Pirates to South Lake...
‘Seattle Weather Really Not That Bad,’ Says Man Who Moved Here 4 Weeks Ago
Contrary to previous speculation, Seattle weather is
surprisingly quite pleasant, reports newly minted Seattle meteorological expert
Scott Caprelli, who moved to town from LA exactly four...
The Stranger’s Kink Issue Begs Corporate Media To ‘Step On My Journalistic Integrity, Daddy’
In this week’s much requested reprint of The Stranger’s 2019 Kink
Issue, the city’s only biweekly included a heaving plea for their relentless
corporate media suitors...
“Who’s Ready to Stop-and-Risk It All?” Asks Newest Bloomberg Ad
Following a series of widely mocked billboards, targeted ads and sponsored memes, the Mike Bloomberg 2020 campaign has pivoted to its newest initiative, this...
Exhausted Parents Consider Transitioning Son to Outdoor Child
Following eight exhausting months trapped inside with their offspring and attempting house-training, a Greenwood couple has reportedly begun preliminary discussions about moving their son...
Guy Wakes Up at 5 a.m. to Tell Everyone He Wakes Up at 5 a.m.
Multiple sources are reporting this evening that local asshole and wannabe Bitcoin billionaire Justin Spencer has once again set his alarm for 5 a.m....
Summer Fit Tips to Look Sizzling in Ring Camera Footage Neighbor Posts on Nextdoor
Catch a glimpse of yourself on a Nextdoor post about a suspicious neighbor looking a little paunchier than desired? No problem: Just follow these...
Frigid Seattle Weather Forces Mardi Gras Partiers to Only Flash Arc’teryx Base Layers
Fat Tuesday’s cold February weather forced dozens of Seattle Mardi Gras revelers to settle for only flashing their Arc-teryx mid and base layers at...
