Scientists Discover Aging Reversible After Local 38-Year-Old Recognizes More Than 3 Names on CHBP Lineup
Scientists made the groundbreaking discovery today that a person’s age can be reversed by as much as 20 years after local 38-year-old, Sarah Hawkins, recognized five entire names on this year’s Capitol Hill Block...
Santa Going Green with Sound Transit, Promises Presents By July
Bowing to pressure from the Elf Liberation Front, Santa announced today that Christmas is going extra green this year in the Seattle area with exclusively Sound Transit-delivered gifts guaranteed to be on doorsteps by...
Local Mom to Cure Homelessness Epidemic with Essential Oils
After her recent visit to the Home and Garden Show, Bothell mom Beverly Carlisle has “just the thing” for the rash of homelessness plaguing Seattle.
“I realized that there just isn’t enough affordable housing
in this...
Dave Matthews, Macklemore Save Bumbershoot with New Crossover Album ‘Crash Into My Thrift Shop’
Move aside, Lizzo: Bumbershoot ticket-holders brokenhearted to hear of the Billboard chart queen's canceled concert tonight quickly had their spirits lifted today when Dave Matthews and Macklemore announced they would be kicking off...
Op-Ed: They’re Building an Apartment Complex Inside Me
Guest post from Off Leash News
I don’t know why I didn’t see it coming. I saw it everywhere: A sign announces a new apartment complex, subsequent and sudden demolition and construction, and some brand...
Costco’s Kirkland Signature to Launch New Collection at Bellevue Mall Fashion Show
Local fashionistas, rejoice: This fall’s bold, cutting-edge Bellevue Mall Fashion Show will be headlined by none other than the launch of Costco’s New Kirkland Signature Collection.
“I don’t want to give too much away, but...
Local Q-Anon Oscar Nominees Thank Academy of Child-Eating Lizardmen for Conspiring to Bestow Distinct Honor
Washington state Q-Anon stars of Borat Subsequent Moviefilm humbly thanked the Academy of Child-Eating Lizardmen today for conspiring to bestow upon them recognition for their contributions to the film’s now Oscar-nominated screenplay.
“Even though this...
Dry January Really Just High January
Despite the first month of the year allegedly being Dry January, an entire month dedicated to not drinking alcohol, evidence gathered from one local woman’s kitchen proves the month is actually just High January.
“It...
Elon Musk Taps Russell Wilson to Lead Twitter’s Cringey Viral Meme Unit
After firing half of his staff this week, Elon Musk announced today he’s using the social media company’s extra budget to tap former Seahawk and current Bronco quarterback Russell Wilson to be Twitter’s creative...
Seattle Aquarium Launches Pride Celebration with New Gay Otter Exhibit
Seattle Aquarium launched its Pride Month celebration a day early today on World Otter Day with the opening of its new furry gay otter exhibit.
“As the first major city with a gay otter display,...
