Woman Swears Brunch Outfit is Not Pajamas
A Pioneer Square woman’s Sunday plans to enjoy a relaxing brunch at London Plane with a friend visiting from Paris were dashed by repeated accusations that she was publicly dining in pajamas.
“Leggings and an...
Capitol Hill Block Party Gives Bothell Block Party $20 to ‘Go Get Something Nice’
Bothell, Wash. – This Saturday, downtown Bothell hosts the town’s annual block party and brew fest, featuring a lineup of countless seven bands as well as local craft beers with no more clever...
Friends Feign Excitement About Bonfire Invitation
Friends of Seattle resident Emily Hennings are celebrating her bold showing of social initiative this week — an invitation to a Saturday evening Golden Gardens bonfire— with internal agonizing over how the hell they’re...
Baby in Nirvana Onesie Probably Never Even Saw Them Live
Seattle grunge music scene alumni are calling one local infant a “total poser” and "fake" for wearing a onesie bearing the logo of legendary band Nirvana, even though he's probably never seen them perform...
Baton-Twirling Performative Ally Could Really Take it Down a Notch
After dedicating several free baton-twirling performances in front of her Central District home this last month to the Black Lives Matter movement, non-white neighbors of Kelsey Higgins are wondering if it might be time...
Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Recognizes Nirvana Drummer’s Cute Little Side Project
In the spirit of promoting up-and-coming musicians, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame announced today that this year it would be recognizing a cute little side project from former Nirvana drummer, Dave Grohl.
“They’re...
Dog Daycare Significantly Nicer Than Nearby Public School
As public school funding continues to decrease across the country, local teachers began to express concern that the nearby dog daycare, the Muttessori Pawcademy, was significantly nicer than the neighborhood public school.
“We can all...
Upper Middle Class White Men Finally Have Safe Space to Gather This Week at Seattle Boat Show
After a harrowing year of having no other safe space to gather, local upper middle class white men will once again finally have a place to discuss the issues plaguing their community with the...
Seattle Barbie Movie Audiences Baffled by Pointy Things Women Are Walking On
As throngs of people set out to watch and celebrate the long-anticipated Barbie movie now out in theaters, Seattle audiences were reportedly baffled by why so many of the female characters were painfully walking...
Long-term Study of College Cannabis Use Forgets Why
Today the results of a highly anticipated, long-term study on the effects of cannabis use on college students were expected to be released until Evergreen State University researchers realized they don’t even know why...
