Baby Got Vax: Sir Mix-A-Lot Drops Hot New PSA
Sir Mix-a-Lot once topped the local PSA charts with his City Light-produced “Reduce Your Bills and Cut Your Chills.” Three decades later he’s back at it again with his new Public Health – Seattle...
Burke Museum Unveils New Giraffe Skeleton in Ominous ‘5 to 10 Years, Tops’ Exhibit
Following a long renovation, the Burke Museum re-opened its doors earlier this month with a host of new features and exhibits. The beloved natural history and anthropology museum thrilled visitors with its fabulous upgrades,...
Microsoft Windows Update Team Can Now Work Directly from Hell
With the announcement that all Microsoft employees should utilize
remote work options for the rest of the month, the Windows Update team rejoiced
as they can now work directly from Hell without having to make the...
Local Woman Longs to Experience Other Bathrooms
Local woman Rachel Sellman confirmed witness reports today that her longing stares out rain-drenched windows are due to her endless craving for the novelty and adventure of experiencing other bathrooms.
“My bathroom is always so...
Man Not Okay with White Silence Still Pretty Okay with Male Silence
Local white antiracist dude Chase Hedges, who impressed social media followers the world over with his brave calls to end white silence this last year, courageously announced today through silent implication that he’s still...
Quiet Quitting Run Amok? This Woman Didn’t Think About Work for 9 Entire Minutes
Confirming local business managers’ worst fears that Gen Z and millennial workers would take this new quiet quitting TikTok trend too far, several witnesses confirmed that local employee Kristine Doyle went an entire 9...
Babeland’s New Geoduck Vibrator Recalled for Burrowing Too Deep to Dig Out
Today Seattle sex-toy giant Babeland announced it was already recalling its much-anticipated, new geoduck vibrator after multiple customer reports that they were burrowing too deep to dig out.
“Wow, and I thought Diva Cups were...
Study Finds 100% of People Who Say ‘No One Wants to Work Anymore’ Are Retired People Who Don’t Work Anymore
A recent study by the Center of Obvious Studies confirmed today that everyone who regularly says “no one wants to work anymore” are all old people who haven’t worked in 20 years, and have...
Kinky! This Winter Rain Prefers Edging Just Above the Freezing Point to Blowing a Load of Snow
No one has made more of a splash in the Seattle kink scene this season than local BDSM queen Winter Rain, who has spent the entire season edging just above the freezing point to...
Zoo Removes Replica Icecaps from Polar Bear Exhibit
In an effort to make its polar bear exhibit as authentic as possible, Woodland Park Zoo officials are removing the fiberglass icebergs from their polar bear exhibit. “The bears haven’t taken the change well,”...
