A recent study by the Center of Obvious Studies confirmed today that everyone who regularly says “no one wants to work anymore” are all old people who haven’t worked in 20 years, and have been living off generous pensions and social security benefits that they barely even paid into.
“Back in my day, we had to have one parent work at least 20 hours a week to not only support our family of 12 but buy an entire house that’s now worth $3 million for $600,” said George Stampleson. “I put in my time, so they should put in theirs.”
The study also found that 100% of those same retired people bemoaned the work ethic of unemployed and employed alike.
“I just went into my local bagel shop, and the one staff member working was whining because she couldn’t find childcare, she has to commute 5 hours to work because she can’t afford to live in the city on her bagel lady salary, and she never got to grieve her dying father in 2021,” said retired boomer customer Greta Silverstone. “It’s like look, girl … get over it and do your job, I’m waiting for my bagel here.”
When asked if they would consider getting part-time jobs to help their struggling younger family members, every single old person replied with, “oh no, I don’t want to work anymore.”
