Gov. Ferguson Backs Millionaire Tax After Ghost of Christmas Future Shows Him Losing In 2028 If He Doesn’t
In a stunning 180, today Gov. Bob Ferguson announced his support for a state income tax on millionaires after the Ghost of Christmas Future...
Woodland Park Zoo Publicly Apologizes for Inviting Ozzy Osbourne to Perform at ZooTunes
Woodland Park Zoo has issued an apology today after heavy metal pioneer Ozzy Osbourne was caught trying to eat several bats housed in the...
Everybody Run: The Cat Learned How to Hold a Knife
One local family was sent running away in a frenzied panic Tuesday night after their cat ‘Mewcifer’ suddenly learned how to hold a knife...
Microsoft Says It Only Enabling Israel’s War Crimes, Not Committing Them
After new reports of how closely the local tech giant works with Israel to surveil and kill thousands of Palestinian civilians, today CEO Satya...
Local Mushroom Hunter Mounts Giant Head of Lion’s Mane Over Fireplace
To ensure everyone entering his household from this day forth knows he is at the top of the food chain in these Pacific Northwest...
Rescue Shelter Cats Flown in from California to Seattle Humane Already Complaining About the Mexican Food
Within 24 hours of landing in Seattle, animal shelter workers are confirming that all 19 rescue cats flown in from California are already complaining...
New Study Shows Bellevue Exists Outside of Work Hours
A shocking new study conducted by a team of Seattleites who crossed the treacherous waters of Lake Washington by light rail over the weekend...
Local Woman Can’t Escape Café, Watching Everyone’s Stuff for a Second
Rescue crews are still attempting to extract a woman trapped on a Diva Espresso café patio in Broadview this evening after the woman promised...
Sound Transit Closes UW Station to Protect Public from Exercising, Witnessing Free Speech
Out of an abundance of caution, today Sound Transit suddenly closed its University of Washington Station to ensure the public was safely protected from...
Flocks of White Women Seen Flying North As Pumpkin Spice Season Begins
Birdwatchers across the Pacific Northwest grabbed their binoculars and set their eyes on the skies in hopes of catching a glimpse of the migratory...
