Mariners’ Concessions Asking Fans to Round Up At Checkout to Fund New Player
Mariners fans were puzzled at T-Mobile Park concession stands today when they were asked if they wanted to round up at checkout to help...
Ha! Local Man Spray Paints Penis On—Oh Shit, That’s a Different EV Brand
Fed up with the excuses people are making for still driving Teslas despite all the shame Elon Musk has brought upon the electric vehicle...
RFK Jr. Debuts New Free School Lunch Program
In his first order of business after the Senate confirmed him as President Donald Trump’s Health Secretary, today RFK Jr. unveiled the nation’s first...
Trump Declares Black Friday Is Indian and Always Has Been
In a bold move just in time for the holiday shopping season, today President-Elect Donald Trump announced that Black Friday has always been Indian,...
Washington Elects Nation’s First Fergalicious Governor
History was made tonight when Washington state elected the nation’s first-ever Fergalicious governor, Bob Ferguson.
“Our campaign and my upper back humps took our lovely...
Report: Chasing Approval of Total Dick Still Bad Idea
A groundbreaking report out today sent shockwaves throughout the will never learn their damn lesson community after it conclusively confirmed that chasing for approval...
Boeing Threatens Striking Workers with Airline Tickets
After striking IAMAW members voted to reject the latest labor deal by 64%, Boeing is now threatening the union with airline tickets on Boeing...
SPD Recruitment Test Standards Lowered to Just Coloring Inside the Thin Blue Line
With Seattle Police Department recruitment flagging despite throwing most of the city budget at them, the SPD announced plans to boost enrollment by lowering...
Everybody Run: The Cat Learned How to Hold a Knife
One local family was sent running away in a frenzied panic Tuesday night after their cat ‘Mewcifer’ suddenly learned how to hold a knife...
PAX West Attendees Devoured by GameShark
Today tragedy struck PAX West, the largest gaming convention on the West Coast, when a number of attendees were devoured by GameShark."I don't know...
