Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg surprised Seattle Tuesday night when the billionaire unexpectedly docked a massive, five-story annual salary of 1,400 laid-off Meta workers in Lake Union.
“Oh cool! Look, people in the back are swimming and sipping margaritas in the salaries of 200 Millennial fools who thought it might finally be a good time to buy a house in Seattle and start having kids,” said one onlooker as the billionaire’s easily purchased 387-foot floating luxury barely fit through the Ballard Locks. “I heard the paneling inside is entirely made of 500 people’s plans to pay off student loan debts this year.”
Zuckerberg, whose net worth is $264 billion, reportedly spent over $300 million for the annual salary of 1,400 people laid off from Meta in Seattle, Bellevue and Redmond, which costs another Meta worker’s job and an acre of rainforest every day to operate.
“Man, someday I hope I can proudly dock 1,400 people’s livelihoods in South Lake Union and then show it off right in front of their laid-off asses for all to see and admire,” said local AI tech product manager Tucker Zane as he kissed his gold chain. “Then, just like with Zuck, everyone will finally think I’m cool.”
Though its size and pricetag may seem impressive, Zuckerberg reportedly has future plans to someday sail around in an even larger annual salary of 30,000 more Meta workers replaced by AI.
