Trump Grows Bored of Tariffs After Learning an Even Newer Word
Donald Trump suddenly reversed his stance on tariffs after an intern made the rookie mistake of saying an even newer word in his company,...
QAnon Wins Best Augmented Reality Game of the Year
After spending the year taking the nation by storm, today The Independent Gaming Association announced that QAnon has won Best Augmented Reality Game of...
COVID Not Mad You Forgot Anniversary, ‘It’s Fine’
Despite the two intimate years you spent intertwined in each other's lives, the COVID-19 virus is reportedly not mad that you forgot the two-year...
Amazon Ends ‘Just Walk Out’ Shopping, Announces ‘Just Walk Out’ Layoffs
After Amazon announced last week that they are ending use of its “Just Walk Out” checkout-free shopping at its grocery stores, today the retail...
Leashed Mark Zuckerberg Introduced as Trump’s First Presidential Pet
American history was made today after President Trump introduced a leashed Mark Zuckerberg as his first official presidential pet.
"We always wondered why President Trump...
Masked ICE Agents Infiltrate Portland Emergency Naked Bike Ride Protest
Temporarily trading in gaiters for gimp masks, several ICE agents reportedly infiltrated Portland’s Emergency Naked Bike Ride Protest on Sunday to see if they...
White House Officials Quickly Running Out of Buses to Throw Each Other Under
The White House descended into chaos today as its supply of buses to throw each other under ran critically low.
“We thought we had enough...
Biden SOTU Wins Over Nation with Hourlong Show-and-Tell of What Was in the Balloon
President Joe Biden sent his approval ratings soaring higher than ever before tonight after using the entirety of his State of the Union speech...
Trump Rages at Kalama in Latest Unhinged Rant
The emotional and mental stability of Donald Trump was called further into question today as he moved on from unhinged rants on Truth Social...
NPR Budget Cuts Spawn ‘Some Things Considered’ Program
The Trump administration asked Congress this week to rescind $1.1 billion already allocated for public broadcasting outlets including NPR and PBS, which has led...
