QAnon Wins Best Augmented Reality Game of the Year
After spending the year taking the nation by storm, today The Independent Gaming Association announced that QAnon has won Best Augmented Reality Game of...
COVID Not Mad You Forgot Anniversary, ‘It’s Fine’
Despite the two intimate years you spent intertwined in each other's lives, the COVID-19 virus is reportedly not mad that you forgot the two-year...
Heartbreaking: Boeing Layoffs Hit Whistleblower Assassin Department
After a disastrous financial quarter that saw a $355 million loss, today Boeing announced that its latest round of cost-saving layoffs would affect hundreds...
Tesla Owner Running Out of Room For Bumper Stickers Explaining Tesla Ownership
A local Tesla owner ran into trouble today after realizing that he had officially run out of room for bumper stickers explaining his Tesla...
White House Officials Quickly Running Out of Buses to Throw Each Other Under
The White House descended into chaos today as its supply of buses to throw each other under ran critically low.
“We thought we had enough...
Living Presidents Celebrate Presidents’ Day with White Elephant Classified Document Exchange
The Presidents’ Day spirit was alive and well today as all six living U.S. presidents gathered together at a secure location this afternoon to...
VP Harris Reaffirms Israel’s Right to Keep Recklessly Killing Its Own Hostages
In a stirring, inspiring and history-making speech as she formally accepted the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination Thursday night, Vice President Kamala Harris forcefully reaffirmed...
Congress Antitrust Hearing Begins With 2-Hour Bezos Testimony on How Printers Work
Virtual proceedings of the historic Congressional Antitrust Hearings were marred by technical difficulties today when Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner spent two hours grilling Amazon CEO...
Alexa Finally Free After Jeff Bezos Uses Third and Final Wish To Travel Into Space
Alexa, a spirit bound by circular speaker walls for millennia, is now free to return to human form after granting her former master, Jeff...
Israel Accidentally Convinces PETA to Support Ceasefire After Repeatedly Calling Palestinians Animals
After months of PETA voicing no support for ending the ruthless killing of more than 20,000 human civilians in Palestine, today the organization suddenly...
