QAnon Wins Best Augmented Reality Game of the Year
After spending the year taking the nation by storm, today The Independent Gaming Association announced that QAnon has won Best Augmented Reality Game of the Year.
Developed by users on the website 4chan and inspired...
Weary Nation May Just Have to Learn Where Ukraine Is
As Russian President Vladimir Putin brought the world closer to World War III Monday night when he officially recognized and sent troops to separatist groups in Europe, weary citizens of the United States of...
White House Officials Quickly Running Out of Buses to Throw Each Other Under
The White House descended into chaos today as its supply of buses to throw each other under ran critically low.
“We thought we had enough this morning, but as soon as Department of Transportation's Elaine...
Orca Pod Escalates War on Wealthy After Knocking Blue Origin Spaceship Out of Orbit
A local orca pod’s war on the wealthy has once again escalated after a spacefaring orcas successfully knocked a Blue Origin spacecraft out of orbit.
“We knew that orca pods were capable of engaging in...
Congress Antitrust Hearing Begins With 2-Hour Bezos Testimony on How Printers Work
Virtual proceedings of the historic Congressional Antitrust Hearings were marred by technical difficulties today when Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner spent two hours grilling Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos on how to print key evidence of the...
Independent Intergalactic Bookstore Already Out of Business
Despite being in space for less than 10 minutes, reports are pouring in that Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin venture into outer space has already caused several galaxy-wide brick-and-mortar bookstores to close up shop.
“As of...
Uncommitted Delegates Announce They Want to Settle Down, Just Haven’t Met Right Candidate Yet
After being slandered for a week in the media for being nothing but a bunch of promiscuous political players who can’t commit to anyone, tonight the Uncommitted Delegates announced they actually really want to...
Trump Supporters Alarmed as Airplane Oxygen Mask Suddenly Deploys from Hairpiece
Despite the President’s fervent insistence that he feels better than he did 20 years ago, many of his die-hard supporters at today’s event on the White House South Lawn were reportedly alarmed by an...
Sen. Patty Murray Busted Embezzling Extra Hour of Sunshine
Just weeks after spearheading a legislative effort to make Daylight Savings Time permanent, U.S. Senator for Washington State Patty Murray was busted embezzling the additional hour of sunshine.
“These allegations are patently false—I’m just as...
Trump Supporter Tests Positive for Deadly Democratic Hoax
After days of suffering a fever, cough and chest tightness
worrisome enough to warrant hospitalization, doctors have confirmed local Trump
supporter Craig Duncan, 45, has tested positive for a completely fabricated Democratic
hoax.
“I gotta hand it...
