QAnon Wins Best Augmented Reality Game of the Year
After spending the year taking the nation by storm, today The Independent Gaming Association announced that QAnon has won Best Augmented Reality Game of the Year.
Developed by users on the website 4chan and inspired...
How to Honor America’s Presidents by Doing the Bare Minimum
When President’s Day Weekend rolls around, ever find yourself feeling deeply indebted to the souls of Andrew Johnson, Rutherford B. Hayes, or James K. Polk wondering how, if ever, you can honor them enough?...
Study Finds Heart Attack Risk Highest In People About to Be Passed on Sidewalk by E-Scooter
Today heart researchers at the University of Washington announced that the chances of experiencing a heart attack are highest among people about to be passed on a sidewalk by an e-scooter.
“After compiling data from...
White House Officials Quickly Running Out of Buses to Throw Each Other Under
The White House descended into chaos today as its supply of buses to throw each other under ran critically low.
“We thought we had enough this morning, but as soon as Department of Transportation's Elaine...
West Coast Engulfed in Cloud of Rats Fleeing New York Wildfire Smoke
A beautiful day along the West Coast of laughing and rolling eyes at the East Coast for finally taking a turn at experiencing the horror of choking wildfire smoke came to a sudden end...
Aw! These Local Politicians Commented on Israel Killing an American from Seattle So the President Didn’t Have To
In a touching display of devotion toward one of the undeniably best presidents the United States has ever had, today local Washington state politicians came together to make public comments about Israel shooting Aysenur...
Congress Antitrust Hearing Begins With 2-Hour Bezos Testimony on How Printers Work
Virtual proceedings of the historic Congressional Antitrust Hearings were marred by technical difficulties today when Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner spent two hours grilling Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos on how to print key evidence of the...
Alexa Finally Free After Jeff Bezos Uses Third and Final Wish To Travel Into Space
Alexa, a spirit bound by circular speaker walls for millennia, is now free to return to human form after granting her former master, Jeff Bezos, his third and final wish to travel into outer...
Boeing ‘Protecting Its Peace’ by Taking Little Break from Social Media
After the FAA posted a scathing report online today about Boeing’s corporate culture and its disastrous effect on the safety of its planes, the lambasted local plane manufacturer announced that it would be taking...
Trump Supporters Alarmed as Airplane Oxygen Mask Suddenly Deploys from Hairpiece
Despite the President’s fervent insistence that he feels better than he did 20 years ago, many of his die-hard supporters at today’s event on the White House South Lawn were reportedly alarmed by an...
