QAnon Wins Best Augmented Reality Game of the Year
After spending the year taking the nation by storm, today The Independent Gaming Association announced that QAnon has won Best Augmented Reality Game of...
How to Honor America’s Presidents by Doing the Bare Minimum
When President’s Day Weekend rolls around, ever find yourself feeling deeply indebted to the souls of Andrew Johnson, Rutherford B. Hayes, or James K....
Study Finds Heart Attack Risk Highest In People About to Be Passed on Sidewalk by E-Scooter
Today heart researchers at the University of Washington announced that the chances of experiencing a heart attack are highest among people about to be...
White House Officials Quickly Running Out of Buses to Throw Each Other Under
The White House descended into chaos today as its supply of buses to throw each other under ran critically low.
“We thought we had enough...
West Coast Engulfed in Cloud of Rats Fleeing New York Wildfire Smoke
A beautiful day along the West Coast of laughing and rolling eyes at the East Coast for finally taking a turn at experiencing the...
Aw! These Local Politicians Commented on Israel Killing an American from Seattle So the President Didn’t Have To
In a touching display of devotion toward one of the undeniably best presidents the United States has ever had, today local Washington state politicians...
Congress Antitrust Hearing Begins With 2-Hour Bezos Testimony on How Printers Work
Virtual proceedings of the historic Congressional Antitrust Hearings were marred by technical difficulties today when Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner spent two hours grilling Amazon CEO...
Alexa Finally Free After Jeff Bezos Uses Third and Final Wish To Travel Into Space
Alexa, a spirit bound by circular speaker walls for millennia, is now free to return to human form after granting her former master, Jeff...
Boeing ‘Protecting Its Peace’ by Taking Little Break from Social Media
After the FAA posted a scathing report online today about Boeing’s corporate culture and its disastrous effect on the safety of its planes, the...
Bill Nye Makes History as First Speed Walker to Earn Presidential Medal of Freedom
Years of only celebrating the achievements of athletes in every other sport at the White House came to an end this weekend when Bill...
