ICE Agent Still Not Sure He’s Wearing Baklava Right
Although one local ICE agent said he was initially happy to buy his own uniform and gear to carry out cruel extrajudicial crimes against...
Trump Demands to Be Considered a Holocaust Survivor
Jealous of the attention they got all day Tuesday for Holocaust Remembrance Day, President Donald Trump is now reportedly demanding to be considered a...
Protester Bites Off ICE Agent’s Micropenis
After getting mad at ICE just because they publicly executed ICU nurse Alex Pretti in the street for recording them with his iPhone, DHS...
Democratic Leadership Threatens to Drop More F-Bombs
In their strongest stand against the violent federal invasion of Minneapolis this month, today top Democratic officials threatened to drop more F-bombs on ICE...
Diary Reveals MLK Also Had Second Dream Where He Had Jetpacks for Feet
A newly discovered diary shares that, in addition to having a dream his children wouldn’t be judged by the color of their skin, Dr....
Trump, Rubio Back Off Greenland After Learning Its Snow Not Kind You Snort
After threatening to do so all week, the Trump administration is reportedly backing off plans to invade Greenland next after learning its snow is...
Trump Announces Plans to Acquire Alaska
After a weekend invasion of Venezuela followed by threats to several other nations including Greenland again, today President Donald Trump announced his administration also...
Pardoned Turkey Still Seeking Pardon from Hanging Out with Trump
Several hours after President Donald Trump pardoned a turkey Tuesday morning, the turkey is reportedly still waiting for Trump to stop wanting to hang...
RFK Jr. Announces Plan to Extend Nation’s Average Lifespan with Little Bite on the Neck
As part of a new health initiative that will completely circumvent the modern pharmaceutical industry, today Health and Human Services Secretary RFK Jr. announced...
Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz Experience Sexual Awakening After Playing Doctor Together
According to prematurely leaked video of them staying late one night at the White House, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz recently experienced a late-life...
