ICE Agent Finds Right Guy
After shooting two innocent fathers dead in the street this last week who ICE admits weren’t even the right guys, today an ICE agent...
Graham Officially Withdraws from Life
After several calls to do so while overtly dedicating his life to killing innocent people and protecting pedophiles for a modicum of clout with...
GOP Says Mitch McConnell Still Alive, Just Butterfly Now
As pressure mounts for Republicans and the Kentucky senator’s relatives to say if Mitch McConnell is still alive or more than brain dead and...
Gates Regrets Ties to Sex Offender He Thought Was Only Going to Victimize Children, Not Himself
In his testimony to Congress released this week, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates said he deeply regretted his ties to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein...
Tennessee Legislators Demand Genital Check of Starbucks Mermaid
Starbucks’ bumpy road to relocating much of its workforce to Nashville, Tenn. continued today after the state’s transphobic legislators demanded a genital check of...
Supreme Court Overturns Law of Gravity
In a 6-3 decision the Supreme Court declared the law of gravity unconstitutional, effectively ending the centuries old practice of not floating into space.
"The...
Drone Using AI to Target Nation’s Greatest Security Threat Blows Up White House
In a completely tragic accident, today a drone using AI to target and take down the nation’s greatest security threat has mistakenly blown up...
Trump Upstages Masters with Perfect Golf Stroke
Before Rory McIlroy could even enjoy his historic Masters championship win for 24 hours, today President Donald Trump upstaged the golf tournament winner’s victory...
ICE Agents Just Making Sure They’re the Only Terrorists at Airport
Today ICE began filling in for unpaid TSA workers at airports across the country to make sure that ICE agents were the only terrorists...
Joe Kent Resigns in Protest of Starting Wars Against Brown People Abroad Instead of at Home
Today former Washington Congressional candidate Joe Kent stepped down from his Trump-appointed counter-terrorism director position in opposition to the president’s war on brown people...
