After finally being convinced by the sun and the World Cup to live their truth, this week socially repressed Seattle bravely came out as an extrovert.
“It’s taken years for me to admit this to myself and the two people I know, but no longer: I love leaving my house and having a good time with other people, even complete strangers,” said Mike Hansen, one of the city’s thousands of formerly closeted extroverts while salsa dancing in broad daylight with a bunch of strangers in Pioneer Square today. “I think I may have just been conditioned to be an introvert by my parents and the culture I grew up in where people think you’re a scary freak if you even accidentally say hi to a stranger. But once I started hanging out a little more with the sun, World Cup, and a bunch of their fun friends from out of town this last week, I just couldn’t keep denying my truth: I actually love spending all day with giant crowds of people Downtown and on the Waterfront.”
Many said it took them so long to admit deep down they don’t want to stay inside this weekend and binge-watch all seasons of Twin Peaks for the hundredth time because they feared what others may think.
“There’s just so much stigma and myths around being an extrovert in this socially conservative city—like I’m gonna force you to be extroverted just because I am, which is ridiculous,” said Jenny Crawford while strolling the Overlook Walk with other newly out extroverted friends she made this morning. “That said, if you ask me, I think everyone’s a little extroverted.”
At press time, Seattle celebrated coming out by voluntarily hanging out with each other on the Waterfront until the sun goes down two hours after their usual bedtime with somehow more energy to spare.
(📸 by Best Side Cycling)
