Spike in Gray Whale Deaths Attributed to Lack of Police in Ocean
As scientists continue to investigate why gray whale deaths have spiked up and down the Pacific coast this year, local law enforcement officials confirmed...
Blue Origin Goes Rogue, Blows Up Another Billionaire’s Launchpad
For the second night in a row, the team behind Bezos-founded space rocket company Blue Origin has gone rogue by following up their explosion...
Orcas Getting a Little Sick and Tired of Being Asked to Solve All Your Billionaire Problems
After yet another week of hearing humans ask them to sink billionaire yachts for them, today local orca pods announced they’re getting a little...
Alki Beachgoers Stunned as Low Tide Reveals Studio Apartment with Rent Under $800
During the lowest tide of the year this week, Alki beachgoers in were treated to the rare discovery of a studio apartment renting for...
Millionaires Tax Payers Assured They Only Need to Cut Back on Lattes to Afford Fifth Home
Future Millionaires Tax payers panicked about how they’re ever going to afford their fifth home if they have to one day pay a 9%...
Seattle Mayor Apologizes to Starbucks, Thought It Knew Everyone Here Hated Them Already
After weeks of Starbucks leadership telling every major newspaper in the country how mean Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson’s been to them by publicly not...
Bainbridge Island Adds ‘Everyone Is Welcome Here’ Sign to 90-Foot Wall Keeping Poors Out
In a show of how much better they are than those awful people in Seattle’s Laurelhurst neighborhood, today Bainbridge Island added an “Everyone Is...
Laurelhurst Airlifted One Mile from Seattle Children’s into Lake Washington
To keep Laurelhurst residents from ever having to hear helicopters transporting sick kids directly to the hospital, today the entire community was airlifted to...
$18M Laurelhurst Mansion Owner Just Wishes There Was Some Way to Not Live Next to Noisy Hospital
After people across the nation shamed his neighborhood out of blocking helicopters carrying sick kids from landing at Seattle Children’s, today $18 million waterfront...
Report: Laurelhurst Residents Blocking Helicopter Landings at Seattle Children’s Ain’t Heard Shit Yet
A new report confirmed today that Laurelhurst residents blocking helicopters carrying kids in critical condition from landing directly at Seattle Children’s hospital because they’re...
