Seattle Public Transit Fan Forced to Act Like They Wish Light Rail Already Connected to Bellevue
As Sound Transit prepares to open the East Link light rail line in Bellevue and Redmond this weekend without a direct connection to Seattle...
All ‘One Seattle Day of Service’ Tasks Mysteriously Involve Mayor Harrell’s Household Chores
As a spirit of goodwill descended upon the Emerald City for its first One Seattle Day of Service this weekend, hundreds of volunteers were...
Seattle Times Finally Runs Out of Mid-sized Towns to Call Hamlets
The Seattle Times copydesk has confirmed that, shortly after deadline today, the 130-year-old metropolitan newspaper has finally run out of mid-sized cities and towns...
Mayor Harrell Sweeps Wheedle Off the Needle
To remind his biggest supporters of what he does best a week before the Nov. 4 general election, today incumbent Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell...
Mayor Harrell Salutes Homeless Veterans as Unified Care Team Sweeps Them into Tukwila
In his first Veterans Day as mayor of Seattle, today Bruce Harrell thanked and saluted hundreds of local homeless veterans as his newly formed...
‘Poor, Unprepared Texas,’ Says City Completely Unprepared for Inevitably Colossal Earthquake
The degree to which Texas was utterly unprepared for last week’s freak freeze continues to baffle, confuse and appall thousands of Seattleites who say...
With Passes Open, Seattle Residents Forced to Think of New Excuses for Not Visiting Family in Eastern Washington
Thanks to the tireless work of Washington State Department of Transportation crews and early spring-like weather re-opening all of the state’s major passes again,...
Understaffed SPD Assures Public It Definitely Has Enough Time to Stop and Frisk Aurora Sex Workers Again
To address worries that the reportedly extremely understaffed agency may not have the resources to crack down on prostitutes again the way City Councilmember...
The Needling Wins Pulitzer Prize for Realest Real Fake News Reporting
Today the Pulitzer Prize, the most prestigious honor in U.S. journalism, was awarded to The Needling for Realest Real Fake Local News Reporting.
“For its...
Next Season of Survivor to Star Local Bridges Vying for Infrastructure Funds
Reality show classic Survivor announced today in a gripping teaser that its next season will feature decrepit Seattle bridges vying for infrastructure funds.
“That grand...
