How to Cope with Being Single During the Holidays While Every Street in Seattle is Getting Plowed
The city’s new snowplow, Sleet Davidson, has already plowed through Marion, Madison, and Cherry while all you managed to do Christmas weekend was swipe...
Pod of Orcas Ignored as Ferry Passengers Marvel at Rare Cargo Ship Entering Port of Seattle
Lucky ferry passengers, who were almost too distracted by a pod of orcas breaching in Elliott Bay to notice, caught a rare glimpse today...
Proposed ‘Shitty Drink Tax’ Sets Sights on LaCroix
Intended as a counterpart to the sugary drink tax, Seattle voters will decide next month whether to approve or reject a tax on LaCroix,...
Green Lake Snowman Absolutely Riddled With Goose Poop
A fanciful frolic through the snow turned messy today after a Green Lake snowman was found to be absolutely riddled with goose poop.
"Oh God,...
Adorable Waterspout Tornado Tries to Scare Seattleites Filing Taxes Under Fascism
To the unexpected delight of people across the Seattle area, Wednesday afternoon the most precious waterspout tornado adorably tried to scare them while they...
Woke Man Rushes to Make Amazon Purchases Ahead of Black Friday Boycott
Reportedly fed up with the capitalist greed plaguing America every holiday season, one woke Capitol Hill man spent the day preparing for his boycott...
Brave! Local Woman Says Murdering Children Is Bad
Today one local woman courageously spoke out on social media to announce her controversial political stance that slaughtering children is bad.
“I know I’m probably...
Mega Yacht in Elliott Bay Sure Sign Some Fucked Up Rich Guy Shit Going Down
A glamorous mega-yacht has made a surprise appearance in Elliott Bay overnight, leaving curious Seattle residents and local reporters to speculate what kind of...
Capitol Hill Commuters Hold Séance to Summon Next Bus
Five hours after it was supposed to arrive, a group of commuters stranded at a Capitol Hill bus stop decided to try their luck...
Last Chance to Say Goodbye: WSDOT Holds Final Viaduct Car Jump This Weekend
The time has finally come: This weekend is your last chance to car-jump the expanse between the yet-to-be-demolished remnants of the Alaskan Way Viaduct....
