University of Washington Won’t Stop Bragging About Massive Endowment
Why hello! Are you amongst the throngs of eager masses pining for as much hot-off-the-pressing-of-many-buttons real fake local news as you can get?
Well then,...
Harrell Hosts City of Seattle Job Fair at Annual Holiday Family Reunion
Today Seattle Mayor-Elect Bruce Harrell announced another set senior appointments for his administration after a successful City of Seattle Job Fair at his annual...
Crime-fighting Dog, Scrappy Teens Solve Murder of Kurt Cobain
Seattle police say they’ve officially classified Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain’s death as a murder, and the killer is safely behind bars thanks to one...
Sound Transit Announces 3 New Light Rail Station Escalators Already Broken
Today Sound Transit announced that this fall’s opening of three new light rail stations in North Seattle aren’t the only plans that are ahead...
With Transplants Out of Town, Seattle Natives Really Fucking Cutting Loose
Multiple
reports that no hordes of transplants are currently fucking up the local vibe
are pouring in from native Seattle residents across the city today, leaving
true...
Landlords Now Requiring Dog’s Credit Score
Adding to the longer list of requirements renters must meet to secure housing in pricey and competitive rent markets like Seattle, local landlords are...
‘But Refusing to Tax Billionaires Is My Thing,’ Says Inconsolable Governor Bob Ferguson
Today Washington State Governor Bob Ferguson was inconsolable about Congress’ passage of the Big Beautiful Bill, crying that severely cutting life-saving services while refusing...
Cash-Strapped Renter Actually Pretty Stoked About Free Eggs and Toilet Paper Thrown at House
With rents rising and grocery prices soaring, one local man was quietly thrilled after his house was vandalized with eggs and toilet paper during...
The Needling Buys KOMO
This morning The Needling acquired local conservative TV news station KOMO to officially become Seattle’s leader in both real fake news and fake real...
ICE Agent Says No One Will Talk to Him Here Because of the Seattle Freeze
After weeks of trying to strike up friendly conversations with people about their neighbors, lonely and distraught local ICE Agent Martin Briggs says no...
