Howard Schultz Hints at Run for Seattle City Council
Just weeks after the billionaire announced he was stepping back from his campaign for an independent presidential bid, former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz has begun dropping hints that he may be making a run...
SPD to Receive 23% Retroactive Raise, or 4% for Every Officer Present on January 6th
The tentative Seattle Police Officers’ Guild contract released this week includes a 23% retroactive wage bump that was calculated by increasing their wage almost 4% for each of the six SPD officers present during...
Boeing Promises New 737 AXE Line Is ‘Legit, Hella Safe’
In a surprise press conference this afternoon, Boeing executives
revealed a new set of airliners dubbed the 737 AXE, adamantly emphasizing that
they are “legit” and “hella safe.”
The sudden announcement raised questions about whether the plane...
West Seattleite Too Excited About Bridge Re-Opening Blows Own Load Test
Upon hearing SDOT’s confirmation today that the repaired West Seattle Bridge had passed its final load test before re-opening this Sunday, one West Seattleite who’s been holding in his excitement about it for months...
West Seattle Blog Banned from White House
Following a terse encounter with President Donald Trump at a press conference, the West Seattle Blog has been banned from the White House Press Pool.
Known for its hard-hitting coverage of local little-league teams and...
Indefinite SR 99 Construction Also Applying For Historic Landmark Status
Hot on the heels of The Showbox music venue’s push for landmark status, another enduring city feature has applied for landmark status of its own: the eternal road construction of SR 99.
The famed tire-shredding...
Minutes Before Hot Ohio Debate, Sen. Elizabeth Warren Still Obsessively Fantasizing About Seattle
With time running out to psych herself up for a highly anticipated debate with Ohio’s swing-state audience tonight, democratic presidential candidate Sen. Elizabeth Warren found herself struggling to get her record-setting rally of 15,000...
Wile E. Coyote Steps Down as Sound Transit CEO After Giant Clock Falls on Northbound Tunnel
Following a catastrophic incident in which a cartoonishly large clock fell onto Westlake Station’s Northbound tunnel and indefinitely disrupted light rail service, today Sound Transit CEO Wile E. Coyote officially stepped down after taking...
Woke Man Rushes to Make Amazon Purchases Ahead of Black Friday Boycott
Reportedly fed up with the capitalist greed plaguing America every holiday season, one woke Capitol Hill man spent the day preparing for his boycott of Black Friday by rushing to make his Amazon purchases...
Aroma of Tacoma Returns After Bullshit Verdict Drops in Manuel Ellis Case
The aroma of Tacoma re-emerged today with brutal force after an enormous pile of bullshit was dropped in a Pierce County courtroom where three Tacoma Police officers were found not guilty despite killing Manuel...
