Disgruntled Local Bus Driver Lowers Ramp at Every Stop Just to Piss Everyone Off
Veteran King County Metro driver Bernard Davis is in hot water with no less than five Route 48 riders for continually using the accessibility ramp at each of his stops -- clearly, they say...
Bruce Harrell Celebrates Win by Moving to Seattle
After locking up an overwhelming election victory today to become the Emerald City’s next mayor, Bruce Harrell celebrated tonight by moving all the way to Seattle.
“I’m really gonna miss all my major donors here...
Report: Officials eyeing Lenin statue’s ties to Russia
Leaving no stone unturned in their investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election, Special Counsel Robert Mueller and his associates have repeatedly interviewed the statue of Vladimir Lenin, a prominent fixture embedded in...
12 Hospitalized After Gum Wall’s ‘Take a Piece, Leave a Piece’ Promotion
A “Take a Piece, Leave a Piece” promotion at Seattle’s Gum Wall that failed to specify which gum tourists were supposed to take has left at least 12 hospitalized today with illnesses ranging from...
Cliff Mass Puzzled Weather Radar Did Not Forecast Overnight Shitstorm
Longtime Seattle meteorologist Cliff Mass said he was utterly astounded that his trusty weather radar did not pick up on an obvious incoming shitstorm that hit the same night his blog’s local forecast compared...
Environmental Disaster Declared After Contents of Hot Tub Boat Leaks into Lake Union
An environmental disaster was declared today after a hot tub boat ran aground in Lake Union, spilling gallons of an unnatural mixture of toxic fluids that had pooled within its heated cedar walls.
“We’re monitoring...
Text Alert: 1 Line On Time But Wanted To Check In Because They’ve Been Thinking About You A Lot Lately
With the 1 Line under construction for nearly a month, Sound Transit light rail riders are receiving constant texts about delays and mechanical issues. But Saturday night at 11:44 p.m., Rachel received a text...
Police: Our Vests Are Bulletproof, Not Plastic Bottle-Proof
In a desperate plea to Seattle’s elected officials today, Seattle Police Officers Guild President Mike Solan begged the city for more protection from protesters since their military-grade riot gear is only bullet-proof, not water-bottle...
Awkward Pedestrian Shuffle Enters Fifth Day
Tensions are rising in Seattle’s Cascade neighborhood as an awkward pedestrian shuffle continues into its fifth day.
The standoff began when paralegal Hector Perez and high school teacher Bradley McCollough became entangled in a side-to-side...
Fremont Troll priced out of Fremont, moves to Tukwila
Sightseers under the Aurora Bridge were met with disappointment today after learning that the Fremont Troll has moved from Seattle to Tukwila.
“Frankly, this has been a long time coming,” the Troll said. “Rent kept...
