Leaving no stone unturned in their investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election, Special Counsel Robert Mueller and his associates have repeatedly interviewed the statue of Vladimir Lenin, a prominent fixture embedded in Seattle’s Fremont neighborhood.
“I saw a bunch of black SUVs pull up the other day, and these guys in suits all jumped out,” said Seth Winklemeier, who works at Rain City Smoothies, just across the street from Lenin’s statue. “They were there for three or four hours, just pacing around the statue, yelling stuff at him. It was weird but, like, y’know, Fremont.”
Law enforcement sources described the interaction with the 18-foot bronze statue, imported to Fremont in the 1980s, as “a routine fact-finding interview,” but declined to discuss details. The Special Counsel’s office also declined to comment.
In a surprising move, Washington 8th district Congressional candidate, Dino Rossi (R-Sammamish), issued a statement decrying the incident.
“This goes to show just how far the Democrat-driven investigation has fallen,” Rossi said in a terse press release. “Mr. Lenin’s stoic, bronzed, gaze belies the very same values this country was founded on.”
When reached by phone, a panicked White House spokesman, only barely audible over the sound of paper shredders, declined to discuss whether the White House had met, communicated with, or ever even heard of Lenin.
