Millionaire Tax Already Working
Billionaire, former Starbucks CEO, and man who sold the Seattle SuperSonics to Oklahoma City Howard Schultz announced this week he’s moved to Miami, proving...
Mount Adams Blames Extra Seismic Activity on Upstairs Neighbors
Although scientists from the U.S. Geological Survey have observed a sustained spike in seismic activity from Mount Adams recently including quakes three days in...
Kristi Noem Fired After Attempting to Buy, Wear Seattle Hat ‘n’ Boots
President Donald Trump fired Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem today after discovering she had not only blown more than $200 million on...
Sara Nelson Shows Hunts Point Mayor Hiding from ICE Protests How to Run Public Meeting from Secret Bunker
After hearing Hunts Point Mayor Joseph Sabey canceled his affluent Eastside town’s next public meeting to avoid people protesting his renting of facilities he...
Bill Gates Clarifies He Only Hung Out with Child Sex Trafficker for Fun, Light-hearted Conversation
To put rumors to rest that he participated in Jeffrey Epstein’s pedo ring, today Bill Gates admitted to Gates Foundation staffers that he only...
Washington Considers Billionaire Axe
Today a proposed “Billionaire Axe” had its first hearing in Olympia as it heads to a state House vote, garnering wide support but also...
Mount Rainier Expected to Let Out Little Fart in Celebration of Ash Wednesday
Geologists surprised and overjoyed Catholics across the PNW today when they announced this morning that Mount Rainier plans to let out a little toot...
NextDoor Creates Certification Program for Identifying Fireworks Versus Gunshots
After years of residential confusion, NextDoor announced today it’s launching an official online certification program to help people with no better way to waste...
Scientists Discover World’s Dumbest Person in West Seattle Blog Comments
Today University of Washington researchers announced they have discovered the world's dumbest person in the West Seattle Blog comments section."This is an historic achievement,"...
Mount Si Celebrates Hosting One Millionth Second Date
State park rangers presented a surprised pair of hikers with a summit-top champagne toast today to celebrate the one-millionth second date held on the...
