Green Lake Coyote Just Trying to Get in 10,000 Steps Before Animal Control Called
Anxiously glancing over its shoulder as it trotted past the
Green Lake Boathouse, a Seattle-area resident coyote expressed hope it could
reach its daily step goal before someone called animal control officers.
“The whole den is...
SPD Speeds Up Response Times After Telling Officers There’s Cocaine at Every Crime Scene
After it was widely reported that it took 20 minutes for Seattle Police Department officers to arrive at a shooting scene with a victim less than five minutes away, SPD Chief Adrian Diaz says...
George Washington Actually Thinks He Looks Pretty Dumb on State Flag Too
After generations of Washingtonians looking at him weird, today former U.S. President George Washington broke centuries of silence to say that he actually thinks he looks pretty dumb on their state flag too.
“Look,...
Sound Transit Clarifies People Can Soon Ride Lines 1 and 2, Not Go Number 1 and 2
Jubilation across the Seattle area that people would soon finally be able to go number one or two at any of Sound Transit’s light rail stations was cut short today after the transit agency...
Mount Si Celebrates Hosting One Millionth Second Date
State park rangers presented a surprised pair of hikers with a summit-top champagne toast today to celebrate the one-millionth second date held on the Seattle area’s top make-or-break fitness test for potential romantic partners:...
King County Public Health Asks That If You’re Freakin,’ Please Call a Crisis Hotline, Not Beacon
Today King County Public Health advised local residents who may be freakin’ to contact the Crisis Connections Hotline and not call Beacon.
“I know the ads are everywhere, but please don’t call Beacon—they’re just not...
Man Discovers He Actually Lives in Kenmore, Not Bothell
A three-year investigation into why Pagliacci Pizza delivery boys could never find Doug Frankel’s Bothell-based address has concluded that he does not, in fact, live in Bothell — he lives in Kenmore.
“I live so...
New Parents Excited Ballard Light Rail Line Will Be Finished in Time To Visit Kids at University of Washington
As more details emerge for a future Ballard Light Rail connection, new parents Jim and Claire Thompson are reportedly ecstatic that the light rail will allow them to visit their newborn kid by the...
Local Civil Disobedience Expert Confirms Waving Tiny Flag at Home Way More Effective Than Shutting Down Traffic
After a week of debating whether it was really worth it for advocates of a ceasefire in Palestine to shut down I-5 near Downtown Seattle, today local civil disobedience expert Chad Henry confirmed once...
Sara Nelson Fills Vacant Seattle City Council Seat With Concrete Eco-Block
Today Seattle City Council President Sara Nelson announced her decision to fill Teresa Mosqueda’s vacant council seat with Concrete Eco-Block, one of the several concrete blocks that have been illegally stationed outside of Nelson's...
