As if Seattle’s crazed socialist mayor hadn’t oppressed the city’s car drivers enough already with new bus-only lanes for her Route 8 stretch limo, today Mayor Katie Wilson reminded everyone that “trains-only” train tracks are for trains only, not cars.
“I have to admit I thought this was a self-evident, bipartisan issue, but in light of recent events at the Mount Baker light rail station, I want to reiterate that active light rail train track paths are for trains-only,” said Mayor Wilson at an afternoon press conference. “I sort of thought the way rails would mangle the bottom of your car and tires was enough of a deterrent on its own, but we’ll paint them red with ‘Trains only’ in white letters if necessary. I hope everyone understands this is a win-win for both people who like cars and trains not getting stuck and/or destroying each other.”
But not everyone did as several interviews aired on KOMO indicated.
“Look at all this traffic backed up on MLK and Rainier when there’s a whole open lane of light rail tracks people could drive their cars on straight to Downtown if only this city wasn’t run by some insane socialist who thinks train tracks are just for trains,” said Mount Baker resident Chet Hughes. “I’m sick and tired of all these pro-trains urbanistas like Katie Wilson blocking me from driving our cars over anything we want, be it train tracks or a Pike Place Market full of little children who actually love almost getting sucked under passing SUVs.”
At press time, Mayor Wilson confirmed her radical urbanist views also include thinking the Burke-Gilman Trail is for pedestrians and bicyclists only and that Ballard shouldn’t have to be 45 minutes away from everywhere else in the city.
