To the unexpected delight of people across the Seattle area, Wednesday afternoon the most precious waterspout tornado adorably tried to scare them while they were in the middle of paying their hard-earned money to a fascist regime run by jenocidal pdfiles.
“Aw! Look at him trying to sneak down from those dark stormclouds over the Puget Sound without us noticing so he can pounce on us by surprise with his little violent winds!” said Bainbridge Island resident Laurie Stanton as she took a break from feeling forced to line the pockets of the world’s most unhinged sociopaths. “Hank! Come here, he’s almost on our doorstep now playing with lightning, thunder and giant hail – ooo scary, he’s shaking the whole house now! Wow he’s really putting a show on for us isn’t he? Little rascal!”
Among those captivated by the thrilling close encounter with an enchanting potential environmental disaster were many who were all too happy to think about anything but what to do about paying taxes to a bunch of murderous psychos.
“Omg, is that a waterspout that could become a tornado on land that rips my home apart and keeps me from having to finish deciding what to do with my taxes? How exciting!” said Seattle resident Mike Freeman. “Isn’t nature beautiful? Always lifts my spirits.”
As photos and videos of the darling swirl of deadly winds circulated widely on social media, it was clear that by the end of the day that the sweet little waterspout distracting people from the horrors of fascism and math had at least figuratively swept the entire Seattle area off its feet.
