Geese Can’t Believe How Much Crap Humans Leave in Grass
A flock of Canada geese looking to relax and picnic on a local park lawn today said they couldn’t believe how much crap humans...
Adorable Waterspout Tornado Tries to Scare Seattleites Filing Taxes Under Fascism
To the unexpected delight of people across the Seattle area, Wednesday afternoon the most precious waterspout tornado adorably tried to scare them while they...
Seattle Resident Applies Rain-X Directly to Skin to Avoid Needing Umbrella
Tired of needing an umbrella everyone makes fun of him for using to stay dry during real downpours, today one clever Seattle man applied...
Supreme Court Votes 6-3 to Officially Change Market Name to Pike’s Place
People all over Seattle today were horrified to discover that, hidden amongst last week’s unpopular Supreme Court decisions, was a 6-3 vote that has...
Supreme Court Overturns Law of Gravity
In a 6-3 decision the Supreme Court declared the law of gravity unconstitutional, effectively ending the centuries old practice of not floating into space.
"The...
Chonkers Tells San Francisco He’s Just Up in Seattle on Business
After days of San Francisco wondering where its newest seaside celebrity, Chonkers, has been, today the gigantic 2,000-pound sea lion let them know he’s...
Laurelhurst Generously Agrees to Let Sick Children Live
After two weeks of deliberation, today the esteemed Laurelhurst Community Council generously agreed to let sick and severely injured airlifted children live instead of...
Sound Transit Projects Light Rail System Completion at End of Cenozoic Era
To the relief of many Seattle metro area residents today, Sound Transit bumped up the completion date of all pending light rail projects to...
Ai Weiwei Exhibit at Olympic Sculpture Park Is Very Deep, and I Totally Get It
Ai Weiwei’s view-dominating homage to animal heads just installed at Olympic Sculpture Park is controversial—for SOME people, anyway. But me? I totally get it.
In...
Blue Origin Lunar Lander Delivered to Wrong Moon
After a promised delivery to its intended address fell through this morning, today Blue Origin confirmed its lunar lander was in fact delivered to...
