Thanks to a generous new grant from Microsoft and the Gates Foundation, a new AI literacy program is awarding Seattle students a free personal pan pizza after showing teachers they don’t know how to read a single book anymore.
“When we saw that there are still any elementary school students who can read at a 5th grade reading level and finish entire chapter books, we knew we had to do something to stop that,” said Microsoft and foundation co-founder Bill Gates, who reiterated several times how much he loves children. “Our hope is that by the end of the year, AI literacy rates have gone up so much that kids are smart enough to ask a chatbot to summarize Dick and Jane instead of going through all the difficult work of reading it themselves.”
Parents say that the exciting incentive already has their kids entering advanced levels of AI psychosis.
“My little Sarah used to only be delusional enough to think some day we’d ever get her a pony—now she’s absolutely convinced she is a pony and pretty much only neighs now,” said local mother Rebecca Hodges. “She’s so AI literate that AI is basically the only thing she still communicates with directly. If we ever figure out how to corral her enough to go back to school at all, I’m sure her teacher would sign off that she’s completely forgotten how to read books today.”
While Gates and Microsoft are funding the AI software to students for the program, they say the free pizza is coming from Seattle’s Universal School Meal program and may expand statewide if Gates and Microsoft can’t manage to succcessfully block the Millionaire’s Tax from funding more school meals, books, and human teachers for public schools.
