After a promised delivery to its intended address fell through this morning, today Blue Origin confirmed its lunar lander was in fact delivered to the wrong moon.
“We’re very sorry – for some reason the delivery crew we trapped in a room without bathroom breaks or fresh oxygen until the mission was complete seems to have accidentally dropped the lander on Europa, one of Jupiter’s four Galilean moons, instead of Earth’s moon as intended,” said Blue Origin CEO Dave Limp. “We know this is a disappointing setback in proving we can deliver human lunar landing gear to work with future Artemis missions to the Earth’s moon, but don’t worry, we’ll have another one quickly sent to the right place in just another year or two.”
Though pleased Blue Origin will send another, NASA officials say they’re unsure they want to order products from Blue Origin for future missions.
“The only reason we even ordered from Blue Origin is it’s supposed to be delivered fast, but we should have known better,” said NASA scientist Rick Cochran. “Then again, SpaceX probably isn’t that much better. We’ve already received several suggestions from concerned neighbors on PlanetNextDoor that the lander may have been misdelivered on purpose, so we’ll also be checking OfferUp and CraigsList for any newly listed moon landers—you can’t be too careful these days. If only there was some way we didn’t have to work with either of these private lunar lander delivery companies.”
At press time, NASA reportedly confirmed that the Blue Origin lunar lander was long gone and currently being completely ignored by a boy who went to Jupiter to get more stupider.
