Professional Pickleball and 5 Other Sports to Follow Instead of Letting the Mariners Disappoint You Again
Look: It’s Opening Day and the Mariners are looking fine and crisp in their new uniforms for the first game of the season. It’s understandable that you’re tempted to rekindle your roller coaster love...
Russell Wilson Texts Ex-City Seattle Just to Check In, See How Things Are Going
In a text he sent tonight just to check in on how his former city lover was doing, former Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson told Seattle that Denver actually loves him so much that it’s...
Seattle Mom Encourages Unemployed Son to Contact Seahawks HR Regarding Head Coach Position
Upon hearing the news of Seattle Seahawks’ Head Coach Pete Carrol’s departure, Seattle mom Kathy Davis, 78, is encouraging her unemployed son Patrick, 34, to reach out to the Seahawks’ HR Department.
“You would be...
Mariners Reportedly Almost Reeled in Ohtani with $200,000, Unlimited Supply of Pike Place Market Fish
Although they ultimately lost out the bidding wars for the most desired baseball player in the world over the weekend to the Los Angeles Dodgers’ history-making $700 million contract, today sources report the Mariners...
Seattle Mariners Announce You Are Playing Outfield Next Season in Latest Cost-Saving Move
Despite bragging about being the most profitable team in baseball just last year, today the Seattle Mariners have announced that you will be playing outfield next season in their latest cost-saving move following recent...
Shoplifting, JumpStart Tax, Misdemeanor Drug Use Force Mariners to Miss MLB Playoffs
Despite high hopes for consecutive years in the playoffs, the Seattle Mariners confirmed Saturday night they would not be making the MLB post-season this year due to retail shoplifting, the JumpStart Tax and public...
Chaotic College Football Conference Shuffle Somehow Lands Wazzu in MLS
Following a chaotic dismantling of the Pac-12 that saw UW and Oregon join the Big Ten, a scrambling WSU administration was shocked to learn today that they had accidentally signed a deal that landed...
Lou Piniella Throws Out Ceremonial First Base at All-Star Game
In a touching and nostalgic opening to tonight’s Major League Baseball All-Star Game at Seattle’s T-Mobile Park, none other than legendary former Mariners Manager Lou Piniella did the honors of throwing out the event’s...
Moose Only Mariner Invited to All-Star Game
Today Seattle baseball fans say they’re doing their best to once again overcome a familiar sense of disappointment after learning that the only Mariner who made it onto the roster for the T-Mobile Park-hosted...
Determined to Seal Deal on First Stanley Cup Victory, Kraken Sign New Goalie Tonya Harding
Building off the momentum of securing their first visit to the Stanley Cup playoffs last week, today the Seattle Kraken confirmed its late-season signing of former Olympic ice skating legend Tonya Harding as the...
