Rep. Pramila Jayapal Endorses both Seahawks and Patriots
After months of 99.9% of her constituents asking her to root for the Seahawks, Seattle Congresswoman Rep. Pramila Jayapal announced to the surprised delight...
Local Pedestrian Crosses Street Record-setting 27 Times in One Block
In a stunning commitment to not come within six feet of any people on her afternoon walk today, local pedestrian Megan Wallace crossed the...
Chiefs’ Racist Fan Traditions Successfully Offset by NFL Renaming Super Bowl Stadium ‘Indigenous Pledge Arena’
After years of the Chiefs franchise culturally appropriating Native American/Indigenous traditions without their permission, today the NFL said it was glad to announce the...
Mariners’ Concessions Asking Fans to Round Up At Checkout to Fund New Player
Mariners fans were puzzled at T-Mobile Park concession stands today when they were asked if they wanted to round up at checkout to help...
Timeout: Blitz the Seahawk Attempting to Mate with the SkyCam Again
The Seattle Seahawks were forced to burn a timeout during their matchup with the 49ers tonight after mascot Blitz the Seahawk entered the field...
Fan Cheated of Authentic Mariners Experience After Attending Winning Game
After waiting for more than a year to attend one of their games again at T-Mobile Park last night, Mariners fan Sammy Sandoval said...
Chaotic College Football Conference Shuffle Somehow Lands Wazzu in MLS
Following a chaotic dismantling of the Pac-12 that saw UW and Oregon join the Big Ten, a scrambling WSU administration was shocked to learn...
Seattle Forced to Drive Portland to Soccer Practice
After recently acquiring a driver’s licence, Seattle is being forced to drive Portland to soccer practice this afternoon.
The news came in from a...
Bar Trivia Team Left Looking for Answers After Season Cancellation
A dedicated bar trivia team of three good friends and five
casual acquaintances, all of whom have unsuccessfully dated each other, say
they’re struggling tonight after...
UW Staff Officially Change Job Titles to ‘Head Football Coach’ to Earn Better Pay
After two and a half years of working with no pay increase, today University of Washington staff officially changed their job titles to Head...
