Confetti at Randy Johnson Number Retirement Unveiling Just Feathers
As fans unveiled Mariners legend Randy Johnson’s retired number tonight, many were delighted to discover the confetti raining down on them was actually an...
Seattle Concludes Month of Pretending It Ever Wanted to Take Train to Bellevue
A month after Sound Transit finally opened its much-anticipated Crosslake Connection light rail stations, this week Seattle residents formally concluded their impressive, four-week run...
Transplant Celebrating 10 Years in Seattle Fears It’s Too Late to Ask How To Pronounce Sequim
One transplant’s 10-year Seattle anniversary turned from nostalgic celebration to a source of anxiety today after he realized that he might have waited too...
Woman Reports Living in Renton Really Not That Bad
Friends of Renton resident Rachel Hensley are concerned tonight after she reported during happy hour that living in her current city really isn’t that...
Starbucks Promises to Make Seattle Coffee Utopia Again by Moving to Nashville
After rumors that the corporate coffee giant no longer cares about the city that put it on the map, this week Starbucks confirmed plans...
Ivar’s Restaurants Release 50,000 Pounds of Fried Prawns Back Into Ocean For Earth Day
In an impassioned and excessive display of environmentalism, local restaurant chain, Ivar’s, released 50,000 pounds of fried prawns into the Puget Sound for Earth...
Cocaine Salmon Would Like to See You Swim That Far Upstream without a Little Bump
As appalling news spread of how rampant the presence of cocaine is in salmon these days, one irritable local Coho on the ‘caine said...
Mariners Fans Heading to Game on Ferry Opt for $8 Nacho Upgrade
After agreeing they were all unusually hungry for some reason, Mariners fans heading to the game today on the ferry collectively opted for the...
Creeptozoologist Uploads Bigfoot Pics to WikiFeet
The field of creeptozoology took one big footstep forward today as local creeptozoologist Dan McDonald uploaded the first clear and confirmed photos of Bigfoot’s...
Mercer Island’s Second Cougar Sighting This Week Alarms Residents
The second sighting this week of a cougar prowling this usually safe, residential enclave has Mercer Island families clutching their children and dolla, dolla...
