The field of creeptozoology took one big footstep forward today as local creeptozoologist Dan McDonald uploaded the first clear and confirmed photos of Bigfoot’s big dawgs to Wikifeet.
“For years, the WikiFeet page for Bigfoot remained blank despite decades of creeptozoology research expeditions deep into forest wildernesses across the world for even one blurry photo of his furry feetsies for the good of all mythological foot fetishkind,” said International Society of Creeptozoology President Dick Peters. “Now, at last, his page has countless photos of his beautiful Bigfoot beans all thanks to years of Dan’s dedication and perseverance. Special thanks also goes out to Instagram for suggesting he follow Bigfoot’s new account that happened to be full of freshly posted photos of his spring break at the Tofino hot springs.”
Reached for comment, Bigfoot said he was ambivalent about there finally being photos of his well-traveled tootsies posted on the website.
“Damn, I knew I should have made my new profile private—guess I always knew it would eventually happen someday,” said Bigfoot with a deep sigh. “Should probably just make the best of it and start an OnlyFans—there are worse ways to make money than sending weird guys videos of my Bigfoot toes squishing through mud. Can you imagine if I had to go to an office Monday morning?”
At press time, local cryptozoologists were able to confirm Bigfoot’s new OnlyFans page does take crypto.
