Woman Reports Living in Renton Really Not That Bad
Friends of Renton resident Rachel Hensley are concerned tonight after she reported during happy hour that living in her current city really isn’t that...
Starbucks Promises to Make Seattle Coffee Utopia Again by Moving to Nashville
After rumors that the corporate coffee giant no longer cares about the city that put it on the map, this week Starbucks confirmed plans...
Ivar’s Restaurants Release 50,000 Pounds of Fried Prawns Back Into Ocean For Earth Day
In an impassioned and excessive display of environmentalism, local restaurant chain, Ivar’s, released 50,000 pounds of fried prawns into the Puget Sound for Earth...
Cocaine Salmon Would Like to See You Swim That Far Upstream without a Little Bump
As appalling news spread of how rampant the presence of cocaine is in salmon these days, one irritable local Coho on the ‘caine said...
Mariners Fans Heading to Game on Ferry Opt for $8 Nacho Upgrade
After agreeing they were all unusually hungry for some reason, Mariners fans heading to the game today on the ferry collectively opted for the...
Creeptozoologist Uploads Bigfoot Pics to WikiFeet
The field of creeptozoology took one big footstep forward today as local creeptozoologist Dan McDonald uploaded the first clear and confirmed photos of Bigfoot’s...
Mercer Island’s Second Cougar Sighting This Week Alarms Residents
The second sighting this week of a cougar prowling this usually safe, residential enclave has Mercer Island families clutching their children and dolla, dolla...
Drone Using AI to Target Nation’s Greatest Security Threat Blows Up White House
In a completely tragic accident, today a drone using AI to target and take down the nation’s greatest security threat has mistakenly blown up...
‘You Didn’t See Shit,’ Local Says to California Tourist Witnessing Sunny Seattle Spring
As locals basked in sunshine utterly surrounded by greenery, flowers, sparkling waters, and unbeatable snow-capped mountain views almost too beautiful together to be true,...
Fife Unveils New Slogan: ‘Last Chance To Pee Before Tacoma Dome Traffic’
Fife unveiled their brand-new tourism campaign today after a savvy young city official stumbled upon a revolutionary new slogan, Fife: Last Chance To Pee...
