ICE Agent Finds Right Guy
After shooting two innocent fathers dead in the street this last week who ICE admits weren’t even the right guys, today an ICE agent...
Graham Officially Withdraws from Life
After several calls to do so while overtly dedicating his life to killing innocent people and protecting pedophiles for a modicum of clout with...
GOP Says Mitch McConnell Still Alive, Just Butterfly Now
As pressure mounts for Republicans and the Kentucky senator’s relatives to say if Mitch McConnell is still alive or more than brain dead and...
Perfect Weather Ruins US Men’s World Cup Team Loss
The US Men’s World Cup loss to Belgium was completely ruined Monday night by perfect Seattle summer weather that made it impossible for fans...
Despite Striking Resemblance, Green Lake Confirms No Relation to D.C. Reflecting Pool
After people all over the city couldn’t resist asking once noticing their remarkable resemblance, today Seattle’s Green Lake confirmed there is no relation between...
Socialist Mayor Reigns of Terror Continue with Yet Another Sports Championship Victory
Just four months after Mayor Katie Wilson kicked off her Socialist reign of terror over Seattle with a Seahawks Super Bowl win, today Mayor...
Fuck! Starbucks Agrees to All Union Demands and Now We Have to Drink Their Coffee Again
In supposedly fortunate news after years of union-busting, Starbucks suddenly made a 180 and agreed to all of Starbucks Workers United’s union demands, forcing...
Bellevue Homeowners Say Light Rail Noise on I-90 Ruining Area’s Peaceful Freeway Ambience
A group of Bellevue homeowners are telling Sound Transit that the low hum of the new light rail line across Lake Washington has completely...
Gates Regrets Ties to Sex Offender He Thought Was Only Going to Victimize Children, Not Himself
In his testimony to Congress released this week, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates said he deeply regretted his ties to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein...
Spike in Gray Whale Deaths Attributed to Lack of Police in Ocean
As scientists continue to investigate why gray whale deaths have spiked up and down the Pacific coast this year, local law enforcement officials confirmed...
