White House Officials Quickly Running Out of Buses to Throw Each Other Under
The White House descended into chaos today as its supply of buses to throw each other under ran critically low.
“We thought we had enough...
Republican House Representative Furious Attempted Coup Delayed Her Attempted Coup
Republican Washington State Representative Cathy McMorris Rodgers announced she’s furious that a giant mob’s action-packed attempted coup of the nation’s Capitol Wednesday delayed and...
Neighbors Still Setting Off Annoying Virtual Light Shows at 2 a.m.
Even several days after New Years, Columbia City resident Michael McFarlane says his neighbors are still rudely setting off bright virtual light shows from...
The Needling’s 2020 Real Fake News Corrections: We Regret the Accuracy
Here at The Needling we strive to uphold our credibility as a real fake news organization that only reports real fake news. Unfortunately sometimes...
Woman Breaks in Half Attempting to Stand Up After 14-Hour Netflix Binge
An enormous rumble shook the foundation of a Ballard home today when Beth Johnson stood up from a 14-hour Netflix binge to find that...
Washington State Decriminalizes Murder of Left Lane Slowpokes
Deafening cheers filled the streets Monday evening when Measure 187 passed in a special election with over 98 percent of Washingtonians voting in favor...
CDC Condemns Alleged Super-Spreader That Visited Every Home in Single Night
This morning the Center for Disease Control condemned the work of a potentially international coronavirus super-spreader who somehow visited every home in the world...
President Announces All Mail-in Gifts Not Delivered By Christmas Don’t Count
In response to allegations that crippling the United States Post Office earlier this year to deter mail-in voting is now resulting in packages not...
Zoom Nutcracker Performance Includes Live Nutcracking on Living Room Furniture
In its new and original take on The Nutcracker, Pacific Northwest Ballet’s Zoom performances of the seasonal classic feature some of its most talented...
New COVID Conspiracy Claims Vaccine Contains Miniaturized School Bus Full of Children
Conspiracy Facebook groups across the internet are spiking with activity today after reports surfaced from conspiracy theorist ‘D33P St8 H8r’ that the much anticipated...
